My comments so far:
FUCK YOU people who claim Mac's never have problems
and fuck you damn Self Assigned IP Address that won't allow me to connect to the internet.
I'll post a better picture... sometime soon
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Meet Maggie
Yes, so I replaced my old laptop for my first ever MacBook. She's Maggie, Meet her...
My comments so far:
FUCK YOU people who claim Mac's never have problems
and fuck you damn Self Assigned IP Address that won't allow me to connect to the internet.
I'll post a better picture... sometime soon
My comments so far:
FUCK YOU people who claim Mac's never have problems
and fuck you damn Self Assigned IP Address that won't allow me to connect to the internet.
I'll post a better picture... sometime soon
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Happy Holidays
Here I am, Christmas Eve/Christmas Day, tending to parturient ladies.
Don't you envy me? No, really.
Don't you feel bad? I mean, you're probably eating and drinking in excess, having embarrassing situations with your relatives that will most certainly require years of therapy to overcome, and what not. All this while I assist the miracle of BIRTH! You, sleeping on your comfy and warm beds, while I suppress all epicurean desires just to try and give women the most precious gift anyone has given them? That is, an epidural, of course.
Don't you feel like you're wasting you time living a meaningless life, while other people sacrifice their lives in the service o others? Don't you feel like you should DO something for the world? Or at least for those selfless people?
Well, here's what you should do:
WEAR A FRIKIN' CONDOM!
Thank you very much.
Cheers!
Happy Holidays
Don't you envy me? No, really.
Don't you feel bad? I mean, you're probably eating and drinking in excess, having embarrassing situations with your relatives that will most certainly require years of therapy to overcome, and what not. All this while I assist the miracle of BIRTH! You, sleeping on your comfy and warm beds, while I suppress all epicurean desires just to try and give women the most precious gift anyone has given them? That is, an epidural, of course.
Don't you feel like you're wasting you time living a meaningless life, while other people sacrifice their lives in the service o others? Don't you feel like you should DO something for the world? Or at least for those selfless people?
Well, here's what you should do:
WEAR A FRIKIN' CONDOM!
Thank you very much.
Cheers!
Happy Holidays
Monday, December 8, 2008
la vida soft
Hoy la vida lo programo todo para que pudiera darle un poco suave, juro que yo no tuve nada que ver
Fuimos a clase en la mañana y luego al hospital. Para cuando llegamos y averiguamos a que consultorio ir ya se habia terminado la consulta.
Como habiamos hecho car pool en mi carro, nos esperamos a que saliera el ultimo mientras freasqueabamos en el hospital saludando gente y luego nos fuimos a desayunar. Justo alado de los tacos hay una galeria El Triunfo, y fuimos a buscar cositas Navideñas. Menseamos un rato y luego cada quien a su casa. Llegando pusimos un moñote en la puerta, todo Navideño. Lei lo de la clase de mañana y me vine a la escuela con TODA la intención de hacer todas las historias que pudiera hasta las 10pm que cierran, con aquello de mi falta de compu. Pero oh, sorpresa, hoy cierran a las 7:45! Muajajaja justo a tiempo para ver Madagascar 2
Yo que queria hacer mil y una cosa... es la vida la que me dice que me detenga un moment y le de suaveeeeeeee
Who am I to question fate?
Fuimos a clase en la mañana y luego al hospital. Para cuando llegamos y averiguamos a que consultorio ir ya se habia terminado la consulta.
Como habiamos hecho car pool en mi carro, nos esperamos a que saliera el ultimo mientras freasqueabamos en el hospital saludando gente y luego nos fuimos a desayunar. Justo alado de los tacos hay una galeria El Triunfo, y fuimos a buscar cositas Navideñas. Menseamos un rato y luego cada quien a su casa. Llegando pusimos un moñote en la puerta, todo Navideño. Lei lo de la clase de mañana y me vine a la escuela con TODA la intención de hacer todas las historias que pudiera hasta las 10pm que cierran, con aquello de mi falta de compu. Pero oh, sorpresa, hoy cierran a las 7:45! Muajajaja justo a tiempo para ver Madagascar 2
Yo que queria hacer mil y una cosa... es la vida la que me dice que me detenga un moment y le de suaveeeeeeee
Who am I to question fate?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Narcolepsy
So, since next year I'll be rotating a couple of months in the US, I am required to present the TOEFL, and since I am a lazy, leave-all-to-last type of person I presented it on the last date my school offers, that is, Today.
May I inform you that I was on call yesterday, so you can imagine my condition while presenting the test.
I felt asleep 3 times (twice unintentionally, once on purpose during the time gap I had during the grammar part). The reading section was the worst, I could not keep my mind straigh long enough to focus on the fucking historical building or whatever other stupidities the readings were about.
Anyways, I think it will all be okay. It was pretty easy, even for my half-asleep self.
GUESS WHAT??
Only 7 more nights on call of ObGyn and Im DONE with it
Huzaaah
May I inform you that I was on call yesterday, so you can imagine my condition while presenting the test.
I felt asleep 3 times (twice unintentionally, once on purpose during the time gap I had during the grammar part). The reading section was the worst, I could not keep my mind straigh long enough to focus on the fucking historical building or whatever other stupidities the readings were about.
Anyways, I think it will all be okay. It was pretty easy, even for my half-asleep self.
GUESS WHAT??
Only 7 more nights on call of ObGyn and Im DONE with it
Huzaaah
Sunday, November 2, 2008
update
yeah yeah
so it turns out...
fixing my computer costs almost as much as buying myself a new one.
fuck!
I havent told my dad, I think I'll be computer-less for a while more
I HATE YOU STUPID COMPUTERS MAKERS!!! Next time you come up witha a fancy computer think about a good ventilation system so it wont heat up and kill its motherboard all of a sudden.
you dumbasses!!
so it turns out...
fixing my computer costs almost as much as buying myself a new one.
fuck!
I havent told my dad, I think I'll be computer-less for a while more
I HATE YOU STUPID COMPUTERS MAKERS!!! Next time you come up witha a fancy computer think about a good ventilation system so it wont heat up and kill its motherboard all of a sudden.
you dumbasses!!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
To my big brother
This year has been quite full of life changing situations and decisions. Hasnt it?
First it was your sudden decision to move to the US. You have been threatening us for a while, but still it took us all by surprise when you were really moving over there. Never before had our family been so far away from each other. I was so happy you were finally where you wanted to be. I talked to you. But still something stired inside me. I hadn't said goodbye to you. I didn't take you to the airport and said my goodbyes and wished you good luck.The last time I saw you I never imagined it would be so important. I felt bad. That's why I wanted to go visit you in SF so much. I wanted to see you again. You where so decided of staying there that I was afraid of not seing you for so long unless I visited you that I had to go. Thanks to mom and dad I was able to go. I saw how you lived, I experienced your happyness of being there, right where you where ment to me. I was able to see you surounded by people like you. You finally fitted somewhere, and you were more happy there than I have seen you in such a long while. Of course, sometimes I could also see you where lonely. Away from your family, your friends and everything that had once been your life. It's sad to be away from home, I know.
When you left me on the airport that last day I cried so much during the flight. I felt that you where not coming back. I was happy for you, but still I cried.
On august we were all together again. It felt so good. Not just our family, but so many people from our past were there, I couldnt help it but year those days when everything was so much simpler.
And then, your big news. I have to admit that I cried a little when mom told me. She was so sad, so worried for her little boy. Still, she didn't knew what I what I knew. She didnt saw your there, she didnt live your happiness, your fitting in. I dont think she really understand what it really means. It was like freeing a fish from its bowl into the ocean just to take it back in. It was cruel, and it hurt me. But I was sure you would get over it and stand up again.
Now, another great adventure is awaiting. One that will take you even farther than you've ever been.It is one journey that you have chosen to travel alone. More that really finding a place, I believe its a journey to finding yourself, what you really want, and who you really are and what you want to become.
I wish you nothing but the best, for you deserve nothing less than that.
Please be carefull, you'll be so far away from your loved ones.
Keep in touch.
Remember that no matter how far away you are, how lonely you feel or how badly things are going, your family will always be here for you. You will always have a home to come back to, filled with opened arms to embrace you, whether its for visiting of to stay.
May all your expectations be satisfied.
I love you,
First it was your sudden decision to move to the US. You have been threatening us for a while, but still it took us all by surprise when you were really moving over there. Never before had our family been so far away from each other. I was so happy you were finally where you wanted to be. I talked to you. But still something stired inside me. I hadn't said goodbye to you. I didn't take you to the airport and said my goodbyes and wished you good luck.The last time I saw you I never imagined it would be so important. I felt bad. That's why I wanted to go visit you in SF so much. I wanted to see you again. You where so decided of staying there that I was afraid of not seing you for so long unless I visited you that I had to go. Thanks to mom and dad I was able to go. I saw how you lived, I experienced your happyness of being there, right where you where ment to me. I was able to see you surounded by people like you. You finally fitted somewhere, and you were more happy there than I have seen you in such a long while. Of course, sometimes I could also see you where lonely. Away from your family, your friends and everything that had once been your life. It's sad to be away from home, I know.
When you left me on the airport that last day I cried so much during the flight. I felt that you where not coming back. I was happy for you, but still I cried.
On august we were all together again. It felt so good. Not just our family, but so many people from our past were there, I couldnt help it but year those days when everything was so much simpler.
And then, your big news. I have to admit that I cried a little when mom told me. She was so sad, so worried for her little boy. Still, she didn't knew what I what I knew. She didnt saw your there, she didnt live your happiness, your fitting in. I dont think she really understand what it really means. It was like freeing a fish from its bowl into the ocean just to take it back in. It was cruel, and it hurt me. But I was sure you would get over it and stand up again.
Now, another great adventure is awaiting. One that will take you even farther than you've ever been.It is one journey that you have chosen to travel alone. More that really finding a place, I believe its a journey to finding yourself, what you really want, and who you really are and what you want to become.
I wish you nothing but the best, for you deserve nothing less than that.
Please be carefull, you'll be so far away from your loved ones.
Keep in touch.
Remember that no matter how far away you are, how lonely you feel or how badly things are going, your family will always be here for you. You will always have a home to come back to, filled with opened arms to embrace you, whether its for visiting of to stay.
May all your expectations be satisfied.
I love you,
Saturday, October 25, 2008
16 weeks of gestation
So, this week is also over, which means . . . I've been procrastinating the top item of my to do list for 16 weeks! Sixteen weeks, people! If this were a human fetus it would be around 14cms long and weight 200-300gms, have a humanoid appearance and we could totally now if it's a boy or a girl. Can you believe how fast time goes by?
But be disappointed no more, for I have already made some advances in this matter. Today I finally called a computershop and asked about the prices and all, Unfortunately, well, it's Saturday, and of the three ones I called none answered. I sent an email to two of them, with Chloe's specifications and a brief explanation of the situation. Hopefuly I'll hear of them by Monday. However, if I don't there's not much I can do since I'm on call that day. It will have to wait until Tuesday, when, no matter how tired I am or how shitty I look I shall have a definite answer about my options with Chloe.
And so it goes.
I can't keep this up. I have to tatto my self carpe diem on my forehead. Or even better, I should hire an assistant to remind me of doing all this crap. Or even better, I could hire this assistand and she would totally do all this boring but necesary crap for me. I wonder if my assistant could also take my clothes for dry cleanning. I've been driving around for about 3-4 weeks with a pair of blouses, a trouser and a conforter that need to be dry cleaned. I also owe about 20dlls in late return fines at my school's library, 'cause I'm just incaplable of remembering when it's time to renew the books online. Oh, and before my mama came visiting (oh right, I didn't say, my mama came visit. There, now you know) I had been sleeping on barely half my bed since the rest was occupied with a pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded (God, I hate folding) and placed in my closet. I'm such a mess, I could go on and on with this things.
Argh, I need to find a way to be more organized. I can't go like these any longer.
But be disappointed no more, for I have already made some advances in this matter. Today I finally called a computershop and asked about the prices and all, Unfortunately, well, it's Saturday, and of the three ones I called none answered. I sent an email to two of them, with Chloe's specifications and a brief explanation of the situation. Hopefuly I'll hear of them by Monday. However, if I don't there's not much I can do since I'm on call that day. It will have to wait until Tuesday, when, no matter how tired I am or how shitty I look I shall have a definite answer about my options with Chloe.
And so it goes.
I can't keep this up. I have to tatto my self carpe diem on my forehead. Or even better, I should hire an assistant to remind me of doing all this crap. Or even better, I could hire this assistand and she would totally do all this boring but necesary crap for me. I wonder if my assistant could also take my clothes for dry cleanning. I've been driving around for about 3-4 weeks with a pair of blouses, a trouser and a conforter that need to be dry cleaned. I also owe about 20dlls in late return fines at my school's library, 'cause I'm just incaplable of remembering when it's time to renew the books online. Oh, and before my mama came visiting (oh right, I didn't say, my mama came visit. There, now you know) I had been sleeping on barely half my bed since the rest was occupied with a pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded (God, I hate folding) and placed in my closet. I'm such a mess, I could go on and on with this things.
Argh, I need to find a way to be more organized. I can't go like these any longer.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Is this thing still on?
When did September happen? Did you notice? I didn't.
I have been wanting to post for such a long time. My excuse this time is my lack of computer. You see, I don't have a laptop because Chloe's motherboard (yes, my laptop has a name. Deal with it. In my defense I have to say that Windows asks you to name your computer sometime at the begining) got messed up and I had to send it to HP to get it fixed. Damn you tiny-fancy-and-incredibly-delicate computers! Well, that was 3 months ago. THREE FUCKING MONTHS!!! So right now I don't have a computer because I have been procrastinating sending her for 3 FUCKING MONTHS!!! My computer! For 3 months! My God! I don't even know who I am anymore! I feel so 90's! I just thank God for Rhonda, what would I do without her? (Rhonda, my Blackberry)
Did I mention I still haven't send it? FUCK.
Anyways, having explained my probably unnoticed absence, I'll procede to explain my whereabouts of the last several weeks.
As you know I was in my peds rotation from July to October. After all the complaining, whinning, strep throat, conjunctivitis, etc it was't all that bad. I would actually consider going into peds, if only there weren't so many kids involved :P
The last month or so I rotated in my fancy, private University Hospital. The work was pretty slow, but somehow my stress levels got up, as usual. I had to study what I haven't during the first half of the rotation, hand in a gazzillion notes and clinical histories and finish my portfolio. Excuse me, let me correct myself, my HANDWRITTEN portfolio. This damn portfolio is an endless compilation of my clinical experience during my rotation, or at least that's what I'm told it is. To me, it is a flashback to the 90's where people actually wrote their school papers by hand. Geez, its like elementary school all over again. My hand cramped from all the writing, I had to literaly stop writing because of numbness of my upper limb. Maybe it was due to the fact that I did most of it during the very last week, but still, handwriting is so last decade.
Portfolios and exams aside, the rotation I liked the most was the last one. I was at the regional public maternity hospital. It's a big building that started functioning just last year. It get's an obscene ammount of parturient women from all over the state and even the neighboring states. Since we were rotating in Peds, our job there was to care for the newborn. So, forget about the lady and the obscure and horrid substances involved in giving birth, I was incharge of the baby. Newborns are fun. I mean obviously after they are cleaned out of all the gooey stuff they are born with. I really enjoyed rotating there. We had a lot work, specially at night. I don't know what's with pregnant women and their tendency to give birth in the middle of the night. There where times when I was barely finishing cleaning up one of the babies when I heard someone scream: "Pediatra sala 1!!". I would run to the place, almost putting my gloves on as I ran because by the time I was there, the baby was already comming out. I loved the rush of adrenaline I felt whenever an unexpected birth happend, and let me tell you, it was quite often.
But now, I'm on the other side. Yes, the one involving all the obscure and horrid substances.
ObGyn
God, I hate it! If only the stork would really bring the babies from Paris.
Since I started my 3 months of ginecologic hell in the lesser of 3 evils, that is, my University Hospital, I will spare you from the disgusting details. For now. Give me 2 more weeks, when I go back to that maternity hospital, and prepare to supress your gag reflex, cause things around here are going to get yucky.
I have been wanting to post for such a long time. My excuse this time is my lack of computer. You see, I don't have a laptop because Chloe's motherboard (yes, my laptop has a name. Deal with it. In my defense I have to say that Windows asks you to name your computer sometime at the begining) got messed up and I had to send it to HP to get it fixed. Damn you tiny-fancy-and-incredibly-delicate computers! Well, that was 3 months ago. THREE FUCKING MONTHS!!! So right now I don't have a computer because I have been procrastinating sending her for 3 FUCKING MONTHS!!! My computer! For 3 months! My God! I don't even know who I am anymore! I feel so 90's! I just thank God for Rhonda, what would I do without her? (Rhonda, my Blackberry)
Did I mention I still haven't send it? FUCK.
Anyways, having explained my probably unnoticed absence, I'll procede to explain my whereabouts of the last several weeks.
As you know I was in my peds rotation from July to October. After all the complaining, whinning, strep throat, conjunctivitis, etc it was't all that bad. I would actually consider going into peds, if only there weren't so many kids involved :P
The last month or so I rotated in my fancy, private University Hospital. The work was pretty slow, but somehow my stress levels got up, as usual. I had to study what I haven't during the first half of the rotation, hand in a gazzillion notes and clinical histories and finish my portfolio. Excuse me, let me correct myself, my HANDWRITTEN portfolio. This damn portfolio is an endless compilation of my clinical experience during my rotation, or at least that's what I'm told it is. To me, it is a flashback to the 90's where people actually wrote their school papers by hand. Geez, its like elementary school all over again. My hand cramped from all the writing, I had to literaly stop writing because of numbness of my upper limb. Maybe it was due to the fact that I did most of it during the very last week, but still, handwriting is so last decade.
Portfolios and exams aside, the rotation I liked the most was the last one. I was at the regional public maternity hospital. It's a big building that started functioning just last year. It get's an obscene ammount of parturient women from all over the state and even the neighboring states. Since we were rotating in Peds, our job there was to care for the newborn. So, forget about the lady and the obscure and horrid substances involved in giving birth, I was incharge of the baby. Newborns are fun. I mean obviously after they are cleaned out of all the gooey stuff they are born with. I really enjoyed rotating there. We had a lot work, specially at night. I don't know what's with pregnant women and their tendency to give birth in the middle of the night. There where times when I was barely finishing cleaning up one of the babies when I heard someone scream: "Pediatra sala 1!!". I would run to the place, almost putting my gloves on as I ran because by the time I was there, the baby was already comming out. I loved the rush of adrenaline I felt whenever an unexpected birth happend, and let me tell you, it was quite often.
But now, I'm on the other side. Yes, the one involving all the obscure and horrid substances.
ObGyn
God, I hate it! If only the stork would really bring the babies from Paris.
Since I started my 3 months of ginecologic hell in the lesser of 3 evils, that is, my University Hospital, I will spare you from the disgusting details. For now. Give me 2 more weeks, when I go back to that maternity hospital, and prepare to supress your gag reflex, cause things around here are going to get yucky.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Pediatrics In Review
Kids, what can I say about kids. (sigh)
For the last 8 weeks I've been in my pediatrics rotation in several different clinical settings. My experiences have been varied. In general, the kids have totally exceeded my expectations, whether it was because they where extremelly low, I don't know. I'm not a big fan of kids, mainly because I lack tolerance, but also because I believe in the power of reasoning, something out of grasp to most children. Let me explain.
It is very much frustrating for me (as I expect to everyone in their sane head) to listen to an infant cry. It gets to my nerves very easily, so instead of rocking the child and put a pacifier in his or her mouth, I try to rationalize with him how senseless all his crying is. Zum beispiel:
For the last 8 weeks I've been in my pediatrics rotation in several different clinical settings. My experiences have been varied. In general, the kids have totally exceeded my expectations, whether it was because they where extremelly low, I don't know. I'm not a big fan of kids, mainly because I lack tolerance, but also because I believe in the power of reasoning, something out of grasp to most children. Let me explain.
It is very much frustrating for me (as I expect to everyone in their sane head) to listen to an infant cry. It gets to my nerves very easily, so instead of rocking the child and put a pacifier in his or her mouth, I try to rationalize with him how senseless all his crying is. Zum beispiel:
KID
(some 8-10 month old, who had just started crying with no apparent reason)
waaaaaaaaaa! waaaaaaaaaa!
ME
what is wrong with you kid? are you hungry?
(looking intently, asi if expecting some sort of signaling as a response)
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaa!
ME
ok, I'll take that as a no.
(pauses to see whether the kid reacts and contradicts me, as if saying "oh no! I AM hungry, please feed me")
So what's with all the crying then? Its very unpolite of you to cry like this for no reason. You know, other kids are sleeping or are really sick and trying to rest. How would you feel if it were you the one trying to sleep through all this nonesense yelling?
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
Mmm...
(considering to put a hand on the kid's mouth, but discarding the idea after realizing that it would imply getting myself this kids unclean and possibly contagious saliva all over my just washed hand)
KID
WAAAAAAA!
(extending arms to the ceiling, asi if demanding to be held)
ME
Mmm...
Fine kid! I'll hold you. But if I do I'm expecting you to shussh it. Ok? Are we clear?
(gets hold of the kid in an awkard unnatural embrace)
KID
waaa.... aaa.... aaa a a
(silence, looks at me in the eye)
ME
(gleaming with satisfaction at the suddenly calm and silent emergency room)
See? Was't that eas....
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
arrrghhh!!!!
This is not working for any of us. I told you I'll hold you with the understanding that if Idid you would stop crying. This is not a fair trade now. You're not crying AND making me hold you.
No, no, no mister.
(putting the kid carefully back to the crib)
I shall not yield to your crying extortion.
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
(thinking how to proceed)
oh! I know, let's try something
(starts massaging his forehead, right in the middle of his eyebrows)
KID
(Suddendly calms down and stops crying)
CLASSMATE
wow! how did you know that!
ME
(frankly)
My cats used to love it.
(some 8-10 month old, who had just started crying with no apparent reason)
waaaaaaaaaa! waaaaaaaaaa!
ME
what is wrong with you kid? are you hungry?
(looking intently, asi if expecting some sort of signaling as a response)
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaa!
ME
ok, I'll take that as a no.
(pauses to see whether the kid reacts and contradicts me, as if saying "oh no! I AM hungry, please feed me")
So what's with all the crying then? Its very unpolite of you to cry like this for no reason. You know, other kids are sleeping or are really sick and trying to rest. How would you feel if it were you the one trying to sleep through all this nonesense yelling?
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
Mmm...
(considering to put a hand on the kid's mouth, but discarding the idea after realizing that it would imply getting myself this kids unclean and possibly contagious saliva all over my just washed hand)
KID
WAAAAAAA!
(extending arms to the ceiling, asi if demanding to be held)
ME
Mmm...
Fine kid! I'll hold you. But if I do I'm expecting you to shussh it. Ok? Are we clear?
(gets hold of the kid in an awkard unnatural embrace)
KID
waaa.... aaa.... aaa a a
(silence, looks at me in the eye)
ME
(gleaming with satisfaction at the suddenly calm and silent emergency room)
See? Was't that eas....
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
arrrghhh!!!!
This is not working for any of us. I told you I'll hold you with the understanding that if Idid you would stop crying. This is not a fair trade now. You're not crying AND making me hold you.
No, no, no mister.
(putting the kid carefully back to the crib)
I shall not yield to your crying extortion.
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
(thinking how to proceed)
oh! I know, let's try something
(starts massaging his forehead, right in the middle of his eyebrows)
KID
(Suddendly calms down and stops crying)
CLASSMATE
wow! how did you know that!
ME
(frankly)
My cats used to love it.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Mango Tango
So the other day when I realized I was out of shampoo I decided to stop pretending it makes a difference to my ever-so straigh hair whether I buy shampoo for straight hair, oil repair, volumizing etc. My only criteria this time would be smell.
This is what happened:
It smells aaaaaaaawwwwsssoooommeeeee!! Very very yummy!
and guess what?
Buh bye tears, buh bye knots!!
What more can you ask?
Kids shampoos totally rock
note: I have to give public credit to my brother for this life-changing discovery
This is what happened:
It smells aaaaaaaawwwwsssoooommeeeee!! Very very yummy!and guess what?
Buh bye tears, buh bye knots!!
What more can you ask?
Kids shampoos totally rock
note: I have to give public credit to my brother for this life-changing discovery
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Down witht the rainbow
So I´m back to school now. As of last Monday I starded my Pediatrics rotation. No comments for now, I'm pretending I can keep an open mind to what's left of this year so that the burnout does't come as quickly as during Internal Medicine.
Speaking of which, guess what? I did it! I passed that friking exam! Internal Medicine you can now procede to kiss my buttocks. Thank you very much.
On other things, during this 2 week break I went to San Francisco, CA to visit my dearly beloved brother. It was incredible, I loved the city. It's just oh so beautiful. I happened to visit around the time of the Gay Pride Parade, right after the legalization on gay marriage in the state of California, so the gay fever was quite high. We obviously attended the parade and let me tell you, it was not at all what I expected. I had to separated and kind of opposed ideas of what it would be. The first, that it would be like a march, you know, people with signs protesting for their rights, bla bla The second idea was that it would be like a Rio de Janeiro Parade or something. Lots of music, lights, dancing, cars, cerebrities, etc.
Well, it turned out to be kind of both. SF is way too advanced in the gay acceptance area to have a protest like I imagined, still, there where moments, specially at the beginning, when people would march for different causes. From the right of gay couples to adoption and even agains genital mutilation a.k.a. circumscicion (one of the best groups, with people dressed as penises n'all) On the other hand, the party I expected didn't happened either. It was a nice experience anyway, very unique.
I spent 10 days in SF visiting most of the traditional tourist attractions nearby: the Golden Gate, Pier 39, the Monterey Bay Aquiarium, UC at Berkeley, Stanford University, Palo Alto, San Jose, etc etc. And also going to weird ethnic restaurants with my brother (one was a burmese restaurant so small and hidden that no more than 8 customers at a time could be served). You can se most of it on my Flickr fotostream.
After SF I went home to my parents and sister. We spent 3 days (including my Bday) at the beach. It was very relaxing.
I'm very tired and not really inspired enough to write, so I'll leave it at this point.
Hopefully I will regain inspiration or become in the desperate need to procrastinate some studying and finish telling you guys about my vacations.
Mientras tanto buh bye
I spent 10 days in SF visiting most of the traditional tourist attractions nearby: the Golden Gate, Pier 39, the Monterey Bay Aquiarium, UC at Berkeley, Stanford University, Palo Alto, San Jose, etc etc. And also going to weird ethnic restaurants with my brother (one was a burmese restaurant so small and hidden that no more than 8 customers at a time could be served). You can se most of it on my Flickr fotostream.
After SF I went home to my parents and sister. We spent 3 days (including my Bday) at the beach. It was very relaxing.
I'm very tired and not really inspired enough to write, so I'll leave it at this point.
Hopefully I will regain inspiration or become in the desperate need to procrastinate some studying and finish telling you guys about my vacations.
Mientras tanto buh bye
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Au revoir Internal Medicine
Yo, I survived Internal Medicine.
Last Friday (the 20th) was my final exam and my last night on call. I still don't know the results of my exam and I'm trying not to think about it too much. What's done is done.
Those last 7 days where probably some of the worst of this year, comparable only to that time in January I though I had TB.
I had a real nervous break down, with tears 'n all when I though I had lost my portfolio (which is kind of like a bunch of sheets of papers with lots of signatures of doctors and residents certifying that I participated in or watched several required medical procedures). I couldn't find it hours away from the deadline. If I didn't turn it in I was not allowed to present my final exam. People I know have failed their rotation for not finishing it. I was freaking out, like, seriously. Not fun, not fun at all. I truly recommend you to take better care of your important stuff, unlike me, who carry it around and constantly forget it at nurses stations, classrooms, and the such. Bad, messy, careless me.
At the end I found it at my apartment. You see internet, dumb me had left it there in the morning when I went home after a night on call (pre-exam, for the 3rd time in a row) to take a quick shower before I had to run and take my test. Well, it was there, or at least most of it was there. I had to get some new signatures for some of the procedures, but it was ok. I was able to deliver it on time, no problems. I say this now so peacefully and serenely, but at that time I was crying like the aliens had come and taken away my family, and my computer, and killed all the kittens.
The rest of the weekend and next week I spent it studying like crazy, trying to grasp all the info I was supposed to know from all these years of medschool, and geez! do I have a lousy memory. Anyways, everybody was so stressed out. We were all like screaming at each other for the smallest of things, not eating anything for large periods of time followed by hypercaloric and fat rich meals, abandoning our friends at hospitals 40mins or so way from their houses ... mmm... or was it just me? Damn, I'm so bad at handling stress.
Anyway, the judgement day arrived. It was last friday. My roomate and I woke up early, went to have a good and real breakfast and headed to school. I could not study any longer, we were just quizzing each other. We had to sit through a whole Alternative Medicine class, listening to some shit about how massages help your body and bla bla -who cares- bla bla. Finally the time came, 11 am. We were sitted in a large auditorium and our exams were handed. It consisted in two parts, the first were 63 questions on: Cardiology, Neumology, Infectious Diseases, Nephrology, Gastroenterology and Endocrinology and the second was Oncology, eight 2-3 page long clinical cases with one question each that were based on the American Guidelines.
After the fist 10 questions I wanted to cry. I knew for sure the answer to only 2 or 3 of them. The next 20 I was also clueless. I kept going, panicking with every question. Arghh I did my best, revised the exam, cursed all those hours I wasted during this last 4 years, cursed my failing memory, cursed everyone, and then ... knock knock, who's there? Its me, your bladder. Wanna hear something fun? You have to go. Like, NOW!
I still hadn't bubbled the bubbles on my answer sheet!! I started panicking, bubbling the bubbles as fast as anyone has ever bubbled anything (yes internet, I keep writing bubbling the bubbles cause it's just so fun to say it). Yet, every 7 or so question I had to pause, to breath, cross my legs a bit more, wipe the tear coming down my cheek and then proceed. By question 54 my legs were so crossed they were almost shaped like a frikin pretzel, I couldn't hold it anymore, and the air conditioner set to freezer-like temperature just didn't help. I felt chills running down my back as I bubbled the 63rd bubble. I stood up, ran to the teacher, handed de exam, mumbled something like "I have to pee..." while running, literaly running, to the bathroom.
I came back and took the rest of the exam, and no matter how badly I was answering those questions I still had that satisfyed look only emptying your bladder can give you. I handed in my exam, not sure if I would pass or not. This exam was worth 70% of my Internal Medicine grade. Yes, 70% one frikin' exam.
Whatever, I couldn't linger very long to apreciate the aftermath of that stupid exam in my classmates, 'cause you see, internet, life hates me and to prove it it made me be on call that day. Anyways, I didn't want to stay much longer afterwards because of the innevitable review of the answers all my geeky classmates love-hate doing.
I drove to the hospital and stayed there until midnight. Afterwards I joined my friends (or what was left of them after several hours of heavy drinking) at a party to celebrate we made it alive through IM.
It's all over now, at least until the results come out and I find out if I passed or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last Friday (the 20th) was my final exam and my last night on call. I still don't know the results of my exam and I'm trying not to think about it too much. What's done is done.
Those last 7 days where probably some of the worst of this year, comparable only to that time in January I though I had TB.
I had a real nervous break down, with tears 'n all when I though I had lost my portfolio (which is kind of like a bunch of sheets of papers with lots of signatures of doctors and residents certifying that I participated in or watched several required medical procedures). I couldn't find it hours away from the deadline. If I didn't turn it in I was not allowed to present my final exam. People I know have failed their rotation for not finishing it. I was freaking out, like, seriously. Not fun, not fun at all. I truly recommend you to take better care of your important stuff, unlike me, who carry it around and constantly forget it at nurses stations, classrooms, and the such. Bad, messy, careless me.
At the end I found it at my apartment. You see internet, dumb me had left it there in the morning when I went home after a night on call (pre-exam, for the 3rd time in a row) to take a quick shower before I had to run and take my test. Well, it was there, or at least most of it was there. I had to get some new signatures for some of the procedures, but it was ok. I was able to deliver it on time, no problems. I say this now so peacefully and serenely, but at that time I was crying like the aliens had come and taken away my family, and my computer, and killed all the kittens.
The rest of the weekend and next week I spent it studying like crazy, trying to grasp all the info I was supposed to know from all these years of medschool, and geez! do I have a lousy memory. Anyways, everybody was so stressed out. We were all like screaming at each other for the smallest of things, not eating anything for large periods of time followed by hypercaloric and fat rich meals, abandoning our friends at hospitals 40mins or so way from their houses ... mmm... or was it just me? Damn, I'm so bad at handling stress.
Anyway, the judgement day arrived. It was last friday. My roomate and I woke up early, went to have a good and real breakfast and headed to school. I could not study any longer, we were just quizzing each other. We had to sit through a whole Alternative Medicine class, listening to some shit about how massages help your body and bla bla -who cares- bla bla. Finally the time came, 11 am. We were sitted in a large auditorium and our exams were handed. It consisted in two parts, the first were 63 questions on: Cardiology, Neumology, Infectious Diseases, Nephrology, Gastroenterology and Endocrinology and the second was Oncology, eight 2-3 page long clinical cases with one question each that were based on the American Guidelines.
After the fist 10 questions I wanted to cry. I knew for sure the answer to only 2 or 3 of them. The next 20 I was also clueless. I kept going, panicking with every question. Arghh I did my best, revised the exam, cursed all those hours I wasted during this last 4 years, cursed my failing memory, cursed everyone, and then ... knock knock, who's there? Its me, your bladder. Wanna hear something fun? You have to go. Like, NOW!
I still hadn't bubbled the bubbles on my answer sheet!! I started panicking, bubbling the bubbles as fast as anyone has ever bubbled anything (yes internet, I keep writing bubbling the bubbles cause it's just so fun to say it). Yet, every 7 or so question I had to pause, to breath, cross my legs a bit more, wipe the tear coming down my cheek and then proceed. By question 54 my legs were so crossed they were almost shaped like a frikin pretzel, I couldn't hold it anymore, and the air conditioner set to freezer-like temperature just didn't help. I felt chills running down my back as I bubbled the 63rd bubble. I stood up, ran to the teacher, handed de exam, mumbled something like "I have to pee..." while running, literaly running, to the bathroom.
I came back and took the rest of the exam, and no matter how badly I was answering those questions I still had that satisfyed look only emptying your bladder can give you. I handed in my exam, not sure if I would pass or not. This exam was worth 70% of my Internal Medicine grade. Yes, 70% one frikin' exam.
Whatever, I couldn't linger very long to apreciate the aftermath of that stupid exam in my classmates, 'cause you see, internet, life hates me and to prove it it made me be on call that day. Anyways, I didn't want to stay much longer afterwards because of the innevitable review of the answers all my geeky classmates love-hate doing.
I drove to the hospital and stayed there until midnight. Afterwards I joined my friends (or what was left of them after several hours of heavy drinking) at a party to celebrate we made it alive through IM.
It's all over now, at least until the results come out and I find out if I passed or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Deadlines
Shit shit shit
Tengo que entregar pinches 6 historias clinicas con análisis, corregidas y evaluadas por un médico externo para el viernes y llevo 3 hechas 0 corregidas
Shit shit SHIT
I hate my procrastinator-self
aaaarrgghhhhhh
uy, por cierto... el jueves tengo guardia, el viernes aparte de estas cosas tengo examen de infectologia ... ha! IM SO FUCKIN FAILING THIS SHIT
Tengo que entregar pinches 6 historias clinicas con análisis, corregidas y evaluadas por un médico externo para el viernes y llevo 3 hechas 0 corregidas
Shit shit SHIT
I hate my procrastinator-self
aaaarrgghhhhhh
uy, por cierto... el jueves tengo guardia, el viernes aparte de estas cosas tengo examen de infectologia ... ha! IM SO FUCKIN FAILING THIS SHIT
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Jelous, am I?
Ok, enough of that eerie post. You kind of just have to move on, or this things will get you.
So, for the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've been having weird sleeping schedules. I tend to be up until very late at night, either cause I'm having trouble sleeping, I've sleept through the entire afternoon, or I'm actually studying. Well, around 3 or 4 am, almost every night I've been up, I start hearing noises. The first couple of times I just tried to ignore it, closed the windows and keep doing whatever I was doing, until I finally got intrigued. I opened the window and paid attention to the sounds, and then I realized what that noise was. My neighbors were having sex! And not just any sex, they where either having incredibly good sex or that girl is just one loud gal. They kept going almost without faltering for about an hour, ONE WHOLE HOUR of screaming hot sex!! I was all, you have got to be kidding me. No matter how loud my headphones where, I knew the screaming was still going on. I could not concentrate anymore. I kept thinking, who are these people?
Then I listened a bit more, and even though the girl was very loud and clearly audible, I never heard a second voice. So it's either an incredibly quiet guy (or girl), or this girl got herself a fucking amazing vibrator. I've been trying to figure out which apartment the noise comes from, but its just hard to tell. Still, whenever I see a girl enter any of the potential apartments, I give her the look. Yes, the I-know-what-you've-been-doing-missy look.
So, for the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've been having weird sleeping schedules. I tend to be up until very late at night, either cause I'm having trouble sleeping, I've sleept through the entire afternoon, or I'm actually studying. Well, around 3 or 4 am, almost every night I've been up, I start hearing noises. The first couple of times I just tried to ignore it, closed the windows and keep doing whatever I was doing, until I finally got intrigued. I opened the window and paid attention to the sounds, and then I realized what that noise was. My neighbors were having sex! And not just any sex, they where either having incredibly good sex or that girl is just one loud gal. They kept going almost without faltering for about an hour, ONE WHOLE HOUR of screaming hot sex!! I was all, you have got to be kidding me. No matter how loud my headphones where, I knew the screaming was still going on. I could not concentrate anymore. I kept thinking, who are these people?
Then I listened a bit more, and even though the girl was very loud and clearly audible, I never heard a second voice. So it's either an incredibly quiet guy (or girl), or this girl got herself a fucking amazing vibrator. I've been trying to figure out which apartment the noise comes from, but its just hard to tell. Still, whenever I see a girl enter any of the potential apartments, I give her the look. Yes, the I-know-what-you've-been-doing-missy look.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
On call
Yesterday a patient died, actually my patient died. I've seen dead people and Ive seen people die before, but I've never stood there, helpless, just waiting for a flat line in order to pronounce the death.
He was in his 50s, he had a severe mental impairment and an acute pneumonia. He was looking pretty bad since arrived, his O2 sat started dropping. His ABG showed a respiratory acidosis. My resident decided it was time to intubate him, she and I talked to the patient's family and got them to sign the consent. When the time came to intubate him, she handed me the tube. It was my shot, she said, I've seen it done several time, now it was my turn to do it. I put on my gloves, took a deep breath. They handed me the laryngoscope, I inserted the blade into his mouth. His macroglossia and abundant secretions made it pretty hard just to get a look at his larynx. After some stressful seconds I though I had a clear shot so I passed the tube, we insufflated the balloon and bagged him.
The resident checked his thorax, he wasn't venting properly, the tube was probably not in. Fuck! I've missed the cords and inserted it in the esophagus. We deflated the balloon, took the tube out and started preparing a new tube. Another intern took my place while I silently moved over. After some difficulties, she finally inserted the tube. We checked, it was in his trachea as it was meant in the first place. We plugged the O2 and started bagging him. Still his secretions wouldn't let him vent properly. His lips started to turn blueish, his fingers too. His O2 sat started dropping. He wasn't oxygenating. We rechecked the tube was in place, it was. His pulse was fine. We kept bagging. His O2 sat still too low, dropping more and more. Suddenly his pulse began to get faint. Then it was imperceptible. He was crashing.
We started CPR, kept the vent, nothing.
1mg of epinephrine , still nothing
1mg of atropine, still no pulse
His EKG showed almost no activity.
We kept the CPR until the doctor finally told us to stop. There was nothing we could do now. We stopped the heart compressions but kept the vent. His heart showed only isolated impulses in the EKG, mostly due to the drugs we've just given him. No pulse could be felt.
So we waited. We stood there for some 10-15 minutes until his hear finally showed no electric activity. We printed his EKG, an isoelectric line. He was all white but his blueish lips. We pronounced his death.
He died at 17:31hrs on the last of may.
He was in his 50s, he had a severe mental impairment and an acute pneumonia. He was looking pretty bad since arrived, his O2 sat started dropping. His ABG showed a respiratory acidosis. My resident decided it was time to intubate him, she and I talked to the patient's family and got them to sign the consent. When the time came to intubate him, she handed me the tube. It was my shot, she said, I've seen it done several time, now it was my turn to do it. I put on my gloves, took a deep breath. They handed me the laryngoscope, I inserted the blade into his mouth. His macroglossia and abundant secretions made it pretty hard just to get a look at his larynx. After some stressful seconds I though I had a clear shot so I passed the tube, we insufflated the balloon and bagged him.
The resident checked his thorax, he wasn't venting properly, the tube was probably not in. Fuck! I've missed the cords and inserted it in the esophagus. We deflated the balloon, took the tube out and started preparing a new tube. Another intern took my place while I silently moved over. After some difficulties, she finally inserted the tube. We checked, it was in his trachea as it was meant in the first place. We plugged the O2 and started bagging him. Still his secretions wouldn't let him vent properly. His lips started to turn blueish, his fingers too. His O2 sat started dropping. He wasn't oxygenating. We rechecked the tube was in place, it was. His pulse was fine. We kept bagging. His O2 sat still too low, dropping more and more. Suddenly his pulse began to get faint. Then it was imperceptible. He was crashing.
We started CPR, kept the vent, nothing.
1mg of epinephrine , still nothing
1mg of atropine, still no pulse
His EKG showed almost no activity.
We kept the CPR until the doctor finally told us to stop. There was nothing we could do now. We stopped the heart compressions but kept the vent. His heart showed only isolated impulses in the EKG, mostly due to the drugs we've just given him. No pulse could be felt.
So we waited. We stood there for some 10-15 minutes until his hear finally showed no electric activity. We printed his EKG, an isoelectric line. He was all white but his blueish lips. We pronounced his death.
He died at 17:31hrs on the last of may.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Pass the Xanax!
Look, I'm getting better! Its the second post during may, meaning, it's not even a month between posts. Yay!
Anyways, I haven't been really in the mood of writing. It's been an awful few weeks. I'm going through what I call an Internal-Medicine-burnout-panic-attack-fiasco. All those sick people are getting on my nerves, and all the studying, and the pressure of passing my damn exam are just too much for my already borderline collapsing mind. I'm seriously as close to a panic attack as ever, and let me tell you, I've been like this before and its not pretty. I start messing my sleeping schedules. Waking up at 3am, taking a nap during my 11am lecture, sleeping from 11pm to 4pm the next day (It happened once, really), waking every couple of hours afraid I'll sleep through my class or clinical activities. Arghhh its so exhausting! Besides, all this weird sleeping is not even good sleeping, I don't feel rested even after several hours of sleep. It's like this anxiety is keeping me stressed out even while asleep. I hate it!
This week I left the comfort of my 5 star Hospital and changed to a much more rustic environment, to put is nicely. I've started my month-long Internal Medicine rotation in a public hospital. This hospital is kind of like the top of the public health system, all the referrals from peripheral clinics end up here. It's pretty much the last resource. My impressions so far, well I know I've probably said this before, but this last week has made me reinforce my opinion that most adult patients are just gross. Seriously, all of you grown ups out there, you can be really really gross, watch out! Adult patients in the IM department are all the diabetics, hypertense, renal and infectious patients that, no offence, are mostly just hopeless. You get your typical diabetics with non-healing ulcers and weird and disturbing infections. Yes Fournier men, I'm DIRECTLY refering to you! There is also a whole bunch of geriatric patients, those sad really really old ladies and men with no teeth and who can barely talk and basically just make sad little moaning sounds, so thin you can see each and everyone of their ribs and with gigantic bedsores in their backs and butts and heels, so deep you can see right though the bones. Or the occasional homeless guy with gigantic, brownish curling toenails and fungus growing from all conceivable crevices. There's also the isolated rooms, filled with TB patients with greenish fluorescent phlegm, who with every cough seem to cough out their lungs (along with tons and tons of mycobacterium). Oh, and did I mention it's about 40 fucking degrees and there is no AC? So you can imagine the smell, actually I don’t think you do. Really no amount of warning Pre-MedSchool can prepare you for this kind of shit. So judge all you want, I still maintain it, adults are gross.
Enough venting. I have to go get some sleep. By the way, why am I writing this post at 4am?? (my time, not blogger time) It's not because I've been up studying till now. I actually went to bed at about 12am, but woke up with a start a while ago panicking thinking it was 3:00 in the fucking PM and I've had overslept through my lecture and was running so late for the ER. Seriously, I'm one midnight-wake-up away from running to the drugstore and getting myself some Xanax.
PS: self reminder- write about my noisy neighbors and my sister's graduation.
Anyways, I haven't been really in the mood of writing. It's been an awful few weeks. I'm going through what I call an Internal-Medicine-burnout-panic-attack-fiasco. All those sick people are getting on my nerves, and all the studying, and the pressure of passing my damn exam are just too much for my already borderline collapsing mind. I'm seriously as close to a panic attack as ever, and let me tell you, I've been like this before and its not pretty. I start messing my sleeping schedules. Waking up at 3am, taking a nap during my 11am lecture, sleeping from 11pm to 4pm the next day (It happened once, really), waking every couple of hours afraid I'll sleep through my class or clinical activities. Arghhh its so exhausting! Besides, all this weird sleeping is not even good sleeping, I don't feel rested even after several hours of sleep. It's like this anxiety is keeping me stressed out even while asleep. I hate it!
This week I left the comfort of my 5 star Hospital and changed to a much more rustic environment, to put is nicely. I've started my month-long Internal Medicine rotation in a public hospital. This hospital is kind of like the top of the public health system, all the referrals from peripheral clinics end up here. It's pretty much the last resource. My impressions so far, well I know I've probably said this before, but this last week has made me reinforce my opinion that most adult patients are just gross. Seriously, all of you grown ups out there, you can be really really gross, watch out! Adult patients in the IM department are all the diabetics, hypertense, renal and infectious patients that, no offence, are mostly just hopeless. You get your typical diabetics with non-healing ulcers and weird and disturbing infections. Yes Fournier men, I'm DIRECTLY refering to you! There is also a whole bunch of geriatric patients, those sad really really old ladies and men with no teeth and who can barely talk and basically just make sad little moaning sounds, so thin you can see each and everyone of their ribs and with gigantic bedsores in their backs and butts and heels, so deep you can see right though the bones. Or the occasional homeless guy with gigantic, brownish curling toenails and fungus growing from all conceivable crevices. There's also the isolated rooms, filled with TB patients with greenish fluorescent phlegm, who with every cough seem to cough out their lungs (along with tons and tons of mycobacterium). Oh, and did I mention it's about 40 fucking degrees and there is no AC? So you can imagine the smell, actually I don’t think you do. Really no amount of warning Pre-MedSchool can prepare you for this kind of shit. So judge all you want, I still maintain it, adults are gross.
Enough venting. I have to go get some sleep. By the way, why am I writing this post at 4am?? (my time, not blogger time) It's not because I've been up studying till now. I actually went to bed at about 12am, but woke up with a start a while ago panicking thinking it was 3:00 in the fucking PM and I've had overslept through my lecture and was running so late for the ER. Seriously, I'm one midnight-wake-up away from running to the drugstore and getting myself some Xanax.
PS: self reminder- write about my noisy neighbors and my sister's graduation.
Monday, May 5, 2008
long absence
Hi there internet! I'm still here ... I know I've been absent for what? almost month! Jeez! Time goes by real fast when you're procrastinating a post... You know, I could make up a hundred different excuses for me not posting, but heck, whose got that kind of time. Besides, I can see you did just fine without me, so why bother with lame stories which will basically consist on me playing the busy and overworked Medstudent card?
The worst part of going so long without posting is that so much has happed that I don't really know where to start, also there's this thing where I forget most of what happens and specially the order in which the little stuff I do manage to remember happened. So, I'll just begin with my Mama's visit.
Last week, -Hmmm... or was it the week before that? I'm not sure... well, at some point during my month's absence- my mother came visiting. I loved it. I was so nice to have someone around to take care of me. I really needed to be pampered, and she brought food! Yay! However, since life apparently is a bitch, something bad also happened during her visit. My car broke down... it was something about her transmission, suspension or whatnot. The thing is, my mother had to take care of it, and take her to the mechanic and all that lousy crapp cars make you do when they get messed up like mine did. Poor mother. One of the reasons I wanted her to come was so she could have some time to rest and catch up on her reading and studying. But instead she had to deal with this. Anyways, I really thank her for doing it, because I cannot imagine having done it myself. So at the end I saw only very little of her, but I hope she'll come again in June or July. It was so sad taking her to the airport, I really miss her. I mean, I miss all my family, my dad, my brother and my sisters, but my mama is the one I miss the most. I really like talking to her, and I know she likes talking to me too. You see, she's a doctor too, but until recently she was a stay-home mother. So I feel like right know that she's working again, she is very excited that I'm studying Medicine, and that she gets to study it at the same time as me. She loves telling me about her patients. It's like this thing that she can only share with me. It's nice to have that.
Well, so that happened. What else? Mmm... I'm still hating Internal Medicine. Well, maybe even more now that a friend of mine is my resident. So the first month of the rotation, my R1 was a former student of my school. A really easy-going guy, who coincidentally happens to be dating one of my friends. I really like him, and being on call with him and the rest of my team was kinda fun. But now, my R1 is a friend of mine that used to be my "teacher" during 1st year Medschool. I really like him, and he is a very good friend of mine, but he has made me come to realize why friendship and work should not be mixed. Grrrrr! I don't know what it is, but he is driving me crazy, and I know I'm driving him crazy too. Besides, that whole internist Vs. surgeons rivalry is real, not just on Scrubs. So he's always complaining that I hang too much with them. Arghh! Anyways, I'm going to not talk about this anymore.
What else? Mmm... see, that's why I hate going so long without posting. I have completely forgotten everything that has happened this past month. I hate my lack of short term memory. I cannot even remember what I ate yesterday. I have to start doing sudoku or something to wake up all my sleeping neurons.
Well, if I remember anything else I'll post it. Because I know you must be all, what? a month without a post and all she could come up is her car dying, her mom visiting and her life becoming a Scrubs episode?
The worst part of going so long without posting is that so much has happed that I don't really know where to start, also there's this thing where I forget most of what happens and specially the order in which the little stuff I do manage to remember happened. So, I'll just begin with my Mama's visit.
Last week, -Hmmm... or was it the week before that? I'm not sure... well, at some point during my month's absence- my mother came visiting. I loved it. I was so nice to have someone around to take care of me. I really needed to be pampered, and she brought food! Yay! However, since life apparently is a bitch, something bad also happened during her visit. My car broke down... it was something about her transmission, suspension or whatnot. The thing is, my mother had to take care of it, and take her to the mechanic and all that lousy crapp cars make you do when they get messed up like mine did. Poor mother. One of the reasons I wanted her to come was so she could have some time to rest and catch up on her reading and studying. But instead she had to deal with this. Anyways, I really thank her for doing it, because I cannot imagine having done it myself. So at the end I saw only very little of her, but I hope she'll come again in June or July. It was so sad taking her to the airport, I really miss her. I mean, I miss all my family, my dad, my brother and my sisters, but my mama is the one I miss the most. I really like talking to her, and I know she likes talking to me too. You see, she's a doctor too, but until recently she was a stay-home mother. So I feel like right know that she's working again, she is very excited that I'm studying Medicine, and that she gets to study it at the same time as me. She loves telling me about her patients. It's like this thing that she can only share with me. It's nice to have that.
Well, so that happened. What else? Mmm... I'm still hating Internal Medicine. Well, maybe even more now that a friend of mine is my resident. So the first month of the rotation, my R1 was a former student of my school. A really easy-going guy, who coincidentally happens to be dating one of my friends. I really like him, and being on call with him and the rest of my team was kinda fun. But now, my R1 is a friend of mine that used to be my "teacher" during 1st year Medschool. I really like him, and he is a very good friend of mine, but he has made me come to realize why friendship and work should not be mixed. Grrrrr! I don't know what it is, but he is driving me crazy, and I know I'm driving him crazy too. Besides, that whole internist Vs. surgeons rivalry is real, not just on Scrubs. So he's always complaining that I hang too much with them. Arghh! Anyways, I'm going to not talk about this anymore.
What else? Mmm... see, that's why I hate going so long without posting. I have completely forgotten everything that has happened this past month. I hate my lack of short term memory. I cannot even remember what I ate yesterday. I have to start doing sudoku or something to wake up all my sleeping neurons.
Well, if I remember anything else I'll post it. Because I know you must be all, what? a month without a post and all she could come up is her car dying, her mom visiting and her life becoming a Scrubs episode?
Monday, April 7, 2008
Medical Slang
By the way, the first week of Internal Medicine is over. I made it through! I'm kind of hatting it, but well, just 11 more weeks to go!
Monday, March 31, 2008
The clock is ticking...
and I want it to stop!
In just a couple of hours I'll officially start my Internal Medicine rotation. I don't wanna.
I'm stressed and freaked out. I'm so not ready, in fact I'm the opposite of ready. I'm as un-ready as anyone could possibly be. Ever.
Oh Goodness!
In just a couple of hours I'll officially start my Internal Medicine rotation. I don't wanna.
I'm stressed and freaked out. I'm so not ready, in fact I'm the opposite of ready. I'm as un-ready as anyone could possibly be. Ever.
Oh Goodness!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
scrubs, blood, surgeons
I'm a week away from finishing my Surgery rotation. I refuse to do it. I am in complete denial about it. I just don't want to leave this pretty pretty world of relax, scrubs, blood and surgeons.
The rotation in itself is not as cool, it has a lot of opportunity areas, but Surgery in itself is a pretty cool branch of medicine. During these 3 months I've come to realize that I love the OR. Everything about it suits me.
First and foremost are the scrubs! Oh goodness! If I could wear scrubs to work for the rest of my life I would be a whole lot happier. It's really like being in your pajamas all day. They are easy to wash and iron and nowadays there are way too many different designs to chose from. I'm actually developing a thing for scrubs, so far I've got about 7 -8 different sets, and I'm so tempted to buying another one online. But I shall resist. My emptying pocket demands my restrain.
Secondly its the blood! Medicine is not medicine without at least a bit of blood every day, and if instead of a little its a lot and it comes splashing everywhere, even better! The more the merrier! Its just exhilarating to have a some blood, it kind of remembers you that you're dealing with a friking LIVING person! It bleeds 'n all, it has to be real! hehe
Last but not least are the surgeons themselves. There is no way anyone can argue other residents are as fun as surgeons. I simply compare the residents offices and let me tell you what there is to see.
Anyways... I guess at some point I'll have to accept the fact that good things can't last forever. I start internal medicine next Monday, I just hope it's not as bad as I'm expecting it.
The rotation in itself is not as cool, it has a lot of opportunity areas, but Surgery in itself is a pretty cool branch of medicine. During these 3 months I've come to realize that I love the OR. Everything about it suits me.
First and foremost are the scrubs! Oh goodness! If I could wear scrubs to work for the rest of my life I would be a whole lot happier. It's really like being in your pajamas all day. They are easy to wash and iron and nowadays there are way too many different designs to chose from. I'm actually developing a thing for scrubs, so far I've got about 7 -8 different sets, and I'm so tempted to buying another one online. But I shall resist. My emptying pocket demands my restrain.
Secondly its the blood! Medicine is not medicine without at least a bit of blood every day, and if instead of a little its a lot and it comes splashing everywhere, even better! The more the merrier! Its just exhilarating to have a some blood, it kind of remembers you that you're dealing with a friking LIVING person! It bleeds 'n all, it has to be real! hehe
Last but not least are the surgeons themselves. There is no way anyone can argue other residents are as fun as surgeons. I simply compare the residents offices and let me tell you what there is to see.
- The surgery office has a pair of real skulls hanging from the room, several funny phrases, anecdotes and general memorabilia pasted on the wall, a fridge, a comfortable couch, a computer, a TV-DVD combo, a laparoscopy simulator, a phone, a shelf of surgery books and occasionally a Wii. Oh, right, and a bunch of assorted crapp
- The internal medicine office has 2 computers, a telephone, 2 individual sofas (not good for sleeping), a cork thingy were a bunch of serious-looking papers are posted, and a big shelf of books.
Anyways... I guess at some point I'll have to accept the fact that good things can't last forever. I start internal medicine next Monday, I just hope it's not as bad as I'm expecting it.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Gone with the wind
holly shit!! I could have DIED today!!
If someone would have told me yesterday what was going to happen in the following 24 hrs I would have never believed it.
You see, there was a wind storm today here, and it cause a lot of damage to the city. I mean, a whole load of car crashes, broken signs, fallen trees, etc.
During the morning I was at that hospital, in the OR watching a tonsillectomy when all of a sudden the lights went off, I freaked out a little, then a couple of seconds after it came back (powered by the generator). We didn't gave too much importance to the incident, and continued with our duties. At lunch time a friend of mine wanted to go to the store to grab something to eat, so we decided to venture outside. The first -employee's only- door was closed and guarded by 2 security guys, we complained of the fuss for just some wind, and decided to try the public access. We went to the street ... and HOLLY SHIT! Right outside the door we saw this:
Next thing I know... the frikin' wind was blowing my clothes and my hair in all directions, I even felt it was pushing me. And let me tell you something, I'm a bit heavy, so this freaked me out a little. My so-called-friend (whom I'm still mad at) told me I was over reacting (ha!), and insisted in going to the store. It turns out it was closed, because the power went off in several blocks. We came back to the hospital to be informed that all non-emergency surgeries have been canceled, and since we were not on call, we left. On my way home I was so scared, the street signs, trash, leaves and whatnot were scattered all over the place, I felt my car being MOVED by the wind!!
I started to really freak out, but tried to keep calm and finally decided I didn't want to go home, and ended up at my university hospital. I really though it was not such a big deal, and that I was exaggerating as always, however I got a bit anxious since my two younger sisters were flying here to visit me for spring break. As I drove to the airport to pick them up I saw some disturbing things. Signs were ripped, trash was all over the place, all the traffic light were off, a cloud of dust etc. It looked like a tornado has just passed. I finally arrived to the airport, and it turned out there was no power there either, all the stores and restaurants were closed, the screens were not working and I could not know whether or my sisters' plane had arrived already. I waited for about 40 minutes, and then I saw them.
They told that the fight had about 20 mins (of a 1hr trip) of heavy turbulence, people were crying, throwing up, and freaking out. But since we're apparently young and careless we just laugh about it and went home.
The trip back was uneventful, no collisions or traffic jams... just the post-tornado look all around. It started to get dark, and I started to worry the power would be out in my block too. Luckily it didn't. (Really luckily, most of the nearby blocks are off) We unpacked the TON of food my momma sent me (:D) and went out to grab some dinner. EVERYTHING was closed! Even the convenience stores! We ended up at a Vip's, which was packed since it was the only decent restaurant in a considerably large area.
We came back to my appartment, I checked the internet and just now realized the magnitude of it all. Here are some pics of what happened just on the areas where I drive/live/work on a daily basis.
We're all fine, don't worry. If you want to know more details of what a mess the city was you can go to elnorte, or a small note in english here.
PD: I apologize for the writing in this post, I'm in a hurry but this is a totally deardiary blog experience, and I had to write it down.
** please notice how I crossed out that word, muajaja that was my VERY FIRST HTML WRITING EVER!!! I'm soooooo Techie
If someone would have told me yesterday what was going to happen in the following 24 hrs I would have never believed it.
You see, there was a wind storm today here, and it cause a lot of damage to the city. I mean, a whole load of car crashes, broken signs, fallen trees, etc.
During the morning I was at that hospital, in the OR watching a tonsillectomy when all of a sudden the lights went off, I freaked out a little, then a couple of seconds after it came back (powered by the generator). We didn't gave too much importance to the incident, and continued with our duties. At lunch time a friend of mine wanted to go to the store to grab something to eat, so we decided to venture outside. The first -employee's only- door was closed and guarded by 2 security guys, we complained of the fuss for just some wind, and decided to try the public access. We went to the street ... and HOLLY SHIT! Right outside the door we saw this:
Next thing I know... the frikin' wind was blowing my clothes and my hair in all directions, I even felt it was pushing me. And let me tell you something, I'm a bit heavy, so this freaked me out a little. My so-called-friend (whom I'm still mad at) told me I was over reacting (ha!), and insisted in going to the store. It turns out it was closed, because the power went off in several blocks. We came back to the hospital to be informed that all non-emergency surgeries have been canceled, and since we were not on call, we left. On my way home I was so scared, the street signs, trash, leaves and whatnot were scattered all over the place, I felt my car being MOVED by the wind!!
I started to really freak out, but tried to keep calm and finally decided I didn't want to go home, and ended up at my university hospital. I really though it was not such a big deal, and that I was exaggerating as always, however I got a bit anxious since my two younger sisters were flying here to visit me for spring break. As I drove to the airport to pick them up I saw some disturbing things. Signs were ripped, trash was all over the place, all the traffic light were off, a cloud of dust etc. It looked like a tornado has just passed. I finally arrived to the airport, and it turned out there was no power there either, all the stores and restaurants were closed, the screens were not working and I could not know whether or my sisters' plane had arrived already. I waited for about 40 minutes, and then I saw them.
They told that the fight had about 20 mins (of a 1hr trip) of heavy turbulence, people were crying, throwing up, and freaking out. But since we're apparently young and careless we just laugh about it and went home.
The trip back was uneventful, no collisions or traffic jams... just the post-tornado look all around. It started to get dark, and I started to worry the power would be out in my block too. Luckily it didn't. (Really luckily, most of the nearby blocks are off) We unpacked the TON of food my momma sent me (:D) and went out to grab some dinner. EVERYTHING was closed! Even the convenience stores! We ended up at a Vip's, which was packed since it was the only decent restaurant in a considerably large area.
We came back to my appartment, I checked the internet and just now realized the magnitude of it all. Here are some pics of what happened just on the areas where I drive/live/work on a daily basis.
We're all fine, don't worry. If you want to know more details of what a mess the city was you can go to elnorte, or a small note in english here.
PD: I apologize for the writing in this post, I'm in a hurry but this is a totally dear
** please notice how I crossed out that word, muajaja that was my VERY FIRST HTML WRITING EVER!!! I'm soooooo Techie
Monday, March 17, 2008
spring break
So hey, its the first day of spring break, I'm on call and I've just been informed that I'll probably be stuck in the ER for most of the day... damn! I sure didn't expect to be in Cancun flashing people or taking tequila shots from anyone's belly but still... man, it sucks!
I'm not even supposed to be here, a fellow student asked me to cover him because some relatives were coming and I gave in, you know cause I'm a good person 'n all. But I am so regretting this. You see, today its a holiday here in Mexico, well not really, but still most people take the day off, which to me is what holidays are all about. In a hospital that means that a bunch of people are lucky and don't have to show up in all day, and a couple unfortunates get to be on call 24 hrs. I was one of the lucky persons, buy my goodness (read: unability to say no) made me trade days. Supposedly its 5 of us covering the Surgery service today, but 3 did have clinical activities at their hospital. So it turns out that from 7am to probably 6pm it's going to be JUST 2 OF US!! To make things worst, I'm not in what one would call speaking terms with this other guy! Damn!!
Upps, a patient just arrived. Gotta go, I'll probably post something again later, given that the internet is the only friend I'll have for the next several hours.
It's going to be a long, long day today.
I'm not even supposed to be here, a fellow student asked me to cover him because some relatives were coming and I gave in, you know cause I'm a good person 'n all. But I am so regretting this. You see, today its a holiday here in Mexico, well not really, but still most people take the day off, which to me is what holidays are all about. In a hospital that means that a bunch of people are lucky and don't have to show up in all day, and a couple unfortunates get to be on call 24 hrs. I was one of the lucky persons, buy my goodness (read: unability to say no) made me trade days. Supposedly its 5 of us covering the Surgery service today, but 3 did have clinical activities at their hospital. So it turns out that from 7am to probably 6pm it's going to be JUST 2 OF US!! To make things worst, I'm not in what one would call speaking terms with this other guy! Damn!!
Upps, a patient just arrived. Gotta go, I'll probably post something again later, given that the internet is the only friend I'll have for the next several hours.
It's going to be a long, long day today.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
vasame los gleenex
Last Friday I cried like I haven't cried in soooo long. Oh goodnes! Not even a baby been taken from his mother AND candy cries as hard as I did.
The culprit is this:
I cried the whole movie! Seriously. From the first 5 minutes 'till the very end. It was just too sad. I'm aware that I've been know to cry during commercials and that maybe my threshold for crying is a bit lower than most people, but still. If you watch this and not shed at least a petty little tear, its not a heart you've got in your chest, its a stone, yo!
I cannot remember the last time a movie made me cry this much. Maybe it was Michael Keaton's My Life, but that was a whole different cry. That was a mourning, sobbing, cant-really-breath kind of cry, while this time it was a constant stream, even when I laughed, still tears came down my cheeks. It was a good cry.
You should really watch this movie, yet a suggestion from me is to go to the theater prepared with a huge pack of Kleenex. I mean it, you'll need it. You will thank me afterwards.
Well, gotta go eat something.
Ciaooo
PS: I love you :)
The culprit is this:
I cried the whole movie! Seriously. From the first 5 minutes 'till the very end. It was just too sad. I'm aware that I've been know to cry during commercials and that maybe my threshold for crying is a bit lower than most people, but still. If you watch this and not shed at least a petty little tear, its not a heart you've got in your chest, its a stone, yo!I cannot remember the last time a movie made me cry this much. Maybe it was Michael Keaton's My Life, but that was a whole different cry. That was a mourning, sobbing, cant-really-breath kind of cry, while this time it was a constant stream, even when I laughed, still tears came down my cheeks. It was a good cry.
You should really watch this movie, yet a suggestion from me is to go to the theater prepared with a huge pack of Kleenex. I mean it, you'll need it. You will thank me afterwards.
Well, gotta go eat something.
Ciaooo
PS: I love you :)
Letrero 4
I know its been a while... I've been quite busy lately with exams and other academic stuff.
Anyways, this is the 4th delivery... Enjoy!
Ok, I get it, no puedo salir fuera con ropa quirúrgica, solo que me queda una pregunta, si salgo dentro puedo conservarla??
Update: recuerdan el letrero 1? Bueno, pues unos dias despues de que tome la foto alguien cruelmente lo arranco... but good news!! Acaban de poner otro parecido!! haha El martes llevaré mi cámara :)
Anyways, this is the 4th delivery... Enjoy!
Ok, I get it, no puedo salir fuera con ropa quirúrgica, solo que me queda una pregunta, si salgo dentro puedo conservarla??Update: recuerdan el letrero 1? Bueno, pues unos dias despues de que tome la foto alguien cruelmente lo arranco... but good news!! Acaban de poner otro parecido!! haha El martes llevaré mi cámara :)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
letrero 3
Finally... the 3rd one.
Este no es un "letrero" propiamente dicho, sino una grafiteada en las tablas de las literas de la mipera. (mipera: llamese aque lugar donde duermen-vegetan-sobreviven los mips; mip: médico interno de pregrado)
Amo a la wera, creo que su elocuencia para describir el internado es incomparable. Donde quiera que estes wera, I feel you, sister! Gracias por hacerme sentir que no estoy sola en esto!
Bueno, ya tengo que estudiar para mi examen de mañana, pero queria escribir algo aqui que ya tenia esto muy abandonado.
Este no es un "letrero" propiamente dicho, sino una grafiteada en las tablas de las literas de la mipera. (mipera: llamese aque lugar donde duermen-vegetan-sobreviven los mips; mip: médico interno de pregrado)Amo a la wera, creo que su elocuencia para describir el internado es incomparable. Donde quiera que estes wera, I feel you, sister! Gracias por hacerme sentir que no estoy sola en esto!
Bueno, ya tengo que estudiar para mi examen de mañana, pero queria escribir algo aqui que ya tenia esto muy abandonado.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
letrero 2
First of all, by I'll post the next one tomorrow I obviously meant, in about a week... so, here it is...
Esta es otra foto encontrada en el vestidor de mujeres para entrar a quirófano. Algunas de las cosas relevantes de el letrero son:
Anyways, ese letrero me hace feliz. :) haha I would steal it and take it home, but I'm worried that if I do, the dressing room will be taken as a spit-pot and ash tray. So I won't.
Esta es otra foto encontrada en el vestidor de mujeres para entrar a quirófano. Algunas de las cosas relevantes de el letrero son:- EVITE en negritas. Son tan considerados. Es de que, por favor, trata que no, pero obvio que si ya de plano no te aguantas puedes hacerlo y se te disculpara la ofensa.
- Si se puede! We know it's hard, I still find it hard not to spit my way into the OR. But you know what? Taking it one day at the time, we can do it. And not just that, we WILL do it, together.
- colillas? mmm... que no TODO el hospital es area de no fumar? Habra alguien que guarde sus colillas para ir a tirarlas al vestidor?
- Se ve completamente ochenteroo!! I love it.
Anyways, ese letrero me hace feliz. :) haha I would steal it and take it home, but I'm worried that if I do, the dressing room will be taken as a spit-pot and ash tray. So I won't.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Letrero 1
Esta es la primera de varias fotos de letreros que estaban en distintos lugares del hospital al que estuve yendo. Tristemente alguien ya quito el letrero, but luckily I took this picture first.
Cabe recalcar que este letrero se encontraba DENTRO del vestidor de MUJERES para entrar a quirófano, no en un baño de gasolinera o algo por el estilo. (Sin ofender a los baños de gasolinera, debo aceptar que como road-tripper que soy he visto baños de todos tipos en las gasolineras)
Por favor hagan zoom a la foto y lean lo que esta escrito con lápiz debajo de NO HAGAS. Es la mejor parte (heh)
Mañana subo la siguiente foto. They get better and better.
xox
Cabe recalcar que este letrero se encontraba DENTRO del vestidor de MUJERES para entrar a quirófano, no en un baño de gasolinera o algo por el estilo. (Sin ofender a los baños de gasolinera, debo aceptar que como road-tripper que soy he visto baños de todos tipos en las gasolineras)
Por favor hagan zoom a la foto y lean lo que esta escrito con lápiz debajo de NO HAGAS. Es la mejor parte (heh)
Mañana subo la siguiente foto. They get better and better.
xox
Done
I'm just arriving from my very LAST night on call in that public hospital that has given me some of the worst experiences of my life. These past 6 weeks have been, to say the least, traumatic. I wish to never go back there, I feel a little bit of my soul died there.
I guess its not that bad, at least for most people. But for me it was horrible. You see, the main reason I don't like very sick people is not because they are gross (because I'm sorry to tell you, but they are) but because they are sad. And despite my tough appearance, I'm really a wuss, a disturbingly emotional wuss.
I've seen some very disturbing wounds there, the type most of you will (luckily) never have to see. I just cannot stand to clean those wounds. They are kinda gross, but thats not what disturbs me. What really gets me is knowing that most of these people are beyond help, that they are suffering so much and that there's very little that I can do for them. I try, I really do try to make my job as best I could, but its just not enough. I felt so bad when I heard one of my patients have died, or had to undergo another surgery or amputations. I don't know how to express this. I guess you cannot relate to this unless you've been there, and probably not even so. Its got a lot to do with me and my personality, I guess. Two times I cried because I just could not stand to hurt this people anymore, despite knowing it was for their own good.
Shit, I wish had the words to express this, but I don't.
Oh goodness, I don't want to think about this anymore. I just want to forget what I've seen, enjoy my next 2 weeks of private hospital rotations and get ready to come back for the last month.
Yes, I will come back. I won't be doing any on-call, just (ha!) clinical activities from 8am to 4pm. I have to admit it that when I found out that my original schedule had changed and I had to go back there I cried a little. It sucks. You wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain, so I won't.
I need a hug, a long, strong hug.
I guess its not that bad, at least for most people. But for me it was horrible. You see, the main reason I don't like very sick people is not because they are gross (because I'm sorry to tell you, but they are) but because they are sad. And despite my tough appearance, I'm really a wuss, a disturbingly emotional wuss.
I've seen some very disturbing wounds there, the type most of you will (luckily) never have to see. I just cannot stand to clean those wounds. They are kinda gross, but thats not what disturbs me. What really gets me is knowing that most of these people are beyond help, that they are suffering so much and that there's very little that I can do for them. I try, I really do try to make my job as best I could, but its just not enough. I felt so bad when I heard one of my patients have died, or had to undergo another surgery or amputations. I don't know how to express this. I guess you cannot relate to this unless you've been there, and probably not even so. Its got a lot to do with me and my personality, I guess. Two times I cried because I just could not stand to hurt this people anymore, despite knowing it was for their own good.
Shit, I wish had the words to express this, but I don't.
Oh goodness, I don't want to think about this anymore. I just want to forget what I've seen, enjoy my next 2 weeks of private hospital rotations and get ready to come back for the last month.
Yes, I will come back. I won't be doing any on-call, just (ha!) clinical activities from 8am to 4pm. I have to admit it that when I found out that my original schedule had changed and I had to go back there I cried a little. It sucks. You wouldn't understand even if I tried to explain, so I won't.
I need a hug, a long, strong hug.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The most thoughtful gift
Today one of my friends gave me this as a Valentine's day treat.
I love it. It's like the perfect gift for me. This is definitely the best way to wash one's hands. It's foamy but it does not leave that sticky sensation afterwards, its antibacterial, and most importantly it smells like heaven should smell. Oh, pomegranate artificial scent, where have you been all my life?
Every time my hand is close to my face a light breeze of deliciousness goes right though my nose and makes me smile. Today is a good day, not only my hands are clean, they are scented too. What more can you ask for? :)
Oh, and... Happy Valentine's Day y'all!
I love it. It's like the perfect gift for me. This is definitely the best way to wash one's hands. It's foamy but it does not leave that sticky sensation afterwards, its antibacterial, and most importantly it smells like heaven should smell. Oh, pomegranate artificial scent, where have you been all my life?Every time my hand is close to my face a light breeze of deliciousness goes right though my nose and makes me smile. Today is a good day, not only my hands are clean, they are scented too. What more can you ask for? :)
Oh, and... Happy Valentine's Day y'all!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
McDonalds
About a year ago my mother, my 2 younger sisters and I went shopping to San Antonio TX. And let me tell you that shopping with my family (well, with the female side of the family) is a hard 24-hour-long job. It shopping starts the second the stores opens and goes non-stop until they close when it moves to the closest 24hr Walmart. Oh yes, they are tough days. Anyways, on that particular time I was with my mom and sisters our midnight meal was provided by McDonalds drive-thru. It went something like this:
MCDONALDS DUDE
Good Night, Welcome to McDonads. What can I get for you?
ME
I'll have 2 big mac meals, one with fanta, the other with coke
MOTHER
DIET coke
ME
Al right, diet coke. Also the 8 piece McNuggets, with a small Sprite
MCDONALDS DUDE
Would that be all?
ME
(I haven't ordered anything for me)
No, I will also have a mmm... let me think... oh yes, I'll have a Big n'Nasty with coke
MCDONALDS DUDE silence...
ME
(realizing what I've just said)
Sorry, sorry, I mean Big n'TASTY, TAS-TY
MCDONALDS DUDE
I'm sorry, did you just say big n' NASTY?
...
ME
(akward silence)
...
MCDONALDS DUDE
Could you hold on a sec....
Good Night, Welcome to McDonads. What can I get for you?
ME
I'll have 2 big mac meals, one with fanta, the other with coke
MOTHER
DIET coke
ME
Al right, diet coke. Also the 8 piece McNuggets, with a small Sprite
MCDONALDS DUDE
Would that be all?
ME
(I haven't ordered anything for me)
No, I will also have a mmm... let me think... oh yes, I'll have a Big n'Nasty with coke
MCDONALDS DUDE silence...
ME
(realizing what I've just said)
Sorry, sorry, I mean Big n'TASTY, TAS-TY
MCDONALDS DUDE
I'm sorry, did you just say big n' NASTY?
...
ME
(akward silence)
...
MCDONALDS DUDE
Could you hold on a sec....
The McDonalds dude was off the speaker for a good 5 minutes which I'm sure was how long it took him to pass on the word to everyone in the kitchen and to his speed-dial contacts. My english-speaking sisters obviously understood and burst into laughing while my ever-so-hungry mother looked rather confused.
Needless to say it was very VERY embarassing to go and pick up the food. But my mom wouldn't let me just get the hell out of there without at least her hamburger.
After that I guess I'll stick to the Big Mac ... at least I can pronounce it.
After that I guess I'll stick to the Big Mac ... at least I can pronounce it.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
OCD
The other day I took a survey on hand washing (yes, this is not a joke, hospitals have this kind of surveys) and I realized just what a freak I am. Well, I guess I always knew, it was just a refreshment.
This got me thinking about my hand-washing-habits, and oh-god even I shocked myself with what I found out:
I like to pretend it's all for health reason, but deep inside me I know I do it because if I stop, the universe will colapse and we will all die. Wouldn't it?
This got me thinking about my hand-washing-habits, and oh-god even I shocked myself with what I found out:
And so forth.
- I easily wash my hands 20-25 times a day (at least)
- I have antibacterial solution on my backpack, my coat pocket, my car, my room and my purse. (sometimes more than 1)
- Every time I pass through one of the antibacterial solution dispenser in my hospital I wash my hands.
- I always wash my hands after seeing a patient (I don't have to touch them, just seeing them makes me want to wash)
- I hate it when sick and sneezing people shake my hand. I have a very strong impulse to "disinfect" afterwards, and I try not to touch anything with the "dirty" hand until I've cleaned it.
- I prefer antibacterial solutions or gel, but if none at hand I use soap and water
- I love the odor of isopropyl alcohol.
- I hate shaking kids hands. They are sticky and unclean to me.
- Whenever I read "hand washing instructions" I go over them in case something has changed in the "technique" or added new steps (oh yes, there is a right way to wash your hands, you dirty dirty people)
- I do this not because I really thing I can serve as vector for infections with my patients, but rather because I think I might get something from them (like that fever)
I like to pretend it's all for health reason, but deep inside me I know I do it because if I stop, the universe will colapse and we will all die. Wouldn't it?
Friday, January 25, 2008
Si se puede!
Hoy quiero escribir en español, y les advierto que en español, yo escribo como hablo.
Pues bueno, aqui sigo, voy terminando la 3ra de las 12 semanas de mi rotación de cirugia... y ya me burnoutie. Estoy nefasteadisima con la vida, con las guardias, con mis compañeros, con los pacientes y con los DIABETICOS!! Odio al mundoo!! Grrrr... quiero dormir, y comer bien, y divertirme y no se... ir 4 años atras en el tiempo, cuando decidí entrar a medicina y darme unas cachetadas para desapendejarme y estudiar LAE o algo asi. Bueno, a lo mejor no tanto. Si me gusta mi carrera y todo, pero creo que no tengo ni remotamente las mismas ideas de la medicina que cuando entre a la carrera. Creo que era yo muy ingenua (eufemismo de pendeja) y tenia ese entusiasmo caracteristico de los estudiantes de medicina de nuevo ingreso. Ese entusiasmo que hace que te emocione hacer curaciones desagradables, tactos en lugares que no reciben seguido la luz del sol, etc. Con decirles que en mis primeras vacaciones de verano me fui de intensa-freak-ñoña a trabajar de voluntaria en la Cruz Roja. Hazme el favor! Ahorita, tiempo libre que tengo, tiempo libre que es bien aprovechado en dormir o vegetar cual vaca de campo. La carrera, el estudio, el estres, la pronunciada carencia de horas de sueño, la mala alimentación, los pacientes hostiles, los pacientes nefastos, los malos médicos, los hospitales de seguridad publica y todo a lo que nos exponen hace que (o al menos en mi) tu forma de pensar cambie.
Creo que no me gusta la gente enferma. Sí, lo dije, soy un futuro médico a quien no le gusta la gente enferma. Me encanta la medicina, lo que no me gusta son los pacientes. Tengo un particular resentimiento contra los de Medicina Interna, sí diabeticos, hipertensos, hipercolesterolémicos del mundo les estoy hablando a ustedes! La mayoría (acepto que hay por ahi uno que otro que no cae en esta categoria) son gente necia que no se quiere cuidar a si misma y que no te deja que la cuides. Yo se que uno de los principios de bioetica es la autonomía del paciente, pero hay gente en la que debería de pasarse por alto. Gente que esta enferma porque quiere y que luego espera que el médico haga milagros y les arregle lo que 15 años de DM no controlada les hicieron. Osea, no me chinges! Como te explico que durante años y años les estuvieron diciendo que controlaran su azúcar, presión o colesteron y no hacian caso. Digo, por qué habrian de hacerlo? ellos se sentian "bien", no? Pero luego les da su embolia, entran en coma hiperosmolar, dejan de ver, les tienen que amputar la pierna, dar dialisis etc... y vienen diciendo que nunca les dijeron eso. Arrshhh me molestan. Aparte los servicios de salud estan saturados de gente que tiene este tipo de enfermedades prevenibles (o almenos sus complicaciones). Egoístas que no se cuidan ellos mismos pero demandan que tú hagas algo por ellos.
Arshhh!! Estoy molesta con los pacientes! Pero sobretodo estoy molesta con los malos médicos que me he topado ultimamente. Esos médicos que por pura weba no pasan a quirófano a un paciente que lleva mas de 20 horas esperando su turno! Esos médicos que hacen amputaciones que parece que en lugar de con bisturí nadamas les pasó un tren y les cortó la pierna! Esos pinches médicos que no se lavan para entrar a quirófano y que no respetan el área blanca! Esos PINCHES MEDICOS!! Arghhh!!
La verdad creo que para lo que me ha servido mi rotación de cirugía hasta ahora es para 3 cosas. La primera darme cuenta que NUNCA podría ser cirujano, la segunda que los cirujanos tienen un trabajo que implica muchas, pero MUCHAS cosas desagradables, y 3 Que lo que mas puedes aprender en los hospitales publicos es lo que NO debes hacer.
En fin, ya me desahogue. Respirare profundo, contare hasta 10 y me dire una vez mas: "sí se puede! Es solo un año".
I needed this. Back to reality, to my shitty shitty reality.
Pues bueno, aqui sigo, voy terminando la 3ra de las 12 semanas de mi rotación de cirugia... y ya me burnoutie. Estoy nefasteadisima con la vida, con las guardias, con mis compañeros, con los pacientes y con los DIABETICOS!! Odio al mundoo!! Grrrr... quiero dormir, y comer bien, y divertirme y no se... ir 4 años atras en el tiempo, cuando decidí entrar a medicina y darme unas cachetadas para desapendejarme y estudiar LAE o algo asi. Bueno, a lo mejor no tanto. Si me gusta mi carrera y todo, pero creo que no tengo ni remotamente las mismas ideas de la medicina que cuando entre a la carrera. Creo que era yo muy ingenua (eufemismo de pendeja) y tenia ese entusiasmo caracteristico de los estudiantes de medicina de nuevo ingreso. Ese entusiasmo que hace que te emocione hacer curaciones desagradables, tactos en lugares que no reciben seguido la luz del sol, etc. Con decirles que en mis primeras vacaciones de verano me fui de intensa-freak-ñoña a trabajar de voluntaria en la Cruz Roja. Hazme el favor! Ahorita, tiempo libre que tengo, tiempo libre que es bien aprovechado en dormir o vegetar cual vaca de campo. La carrera, el estudio, el estres, la pronunciada carencia de horas de sueño, la mala alimentación, los pacientes hostiles, los pacientes nefastos, los malos médicos, los hospitales de seguridad publica y todo a lo que nos exponen hace que (o al menos en mi) tu forma de pensar cambie.
Creo que no me gusta la gente enferma. Sí, lo dije, soy un futuro médico a quien no le gusta la gente enferma. Me encanta la medicina, lo que no me gusta son los pacientes. Tengo un particular resentimiento contra los de Medicina Interna, sí diabeticos, hipertensos, hipercolesterolémicos del mundo les estoy hablando a ustedes! La mayoría (acepto que hay por ahi uno que otro que no cae en esta categoria) son gente necia que no se quiere cuidar a si misma y que no te deja que la cuides. Yo se que uno de los principios de bioetica es la autonomía del paciente, pero hay gente en la que debería de pasarse por alto. Gente que esta enferma porque quiere y que luego espera que el médico haga milagros y les arregle lo que 15 años de DM no controlada les hicieron. Osea, no me chinges! Como te explico que durante años y años les estuvieron diciendo que controlaran su azúcar, presión o colesteron y no hacian caso. Digo, por qué habrian de hacerlo? ellos se sentian "bien", no? Pero luego les da su embolia, entran en coma hiperosmolar, dejan de ver, les tienen que amputar la pierna, dar dialisis etc... y vienen diciendo que nunca les dijeron eso. Arrshhh me molestan. Aparte los servicios de salud estan saturados de gente que tiene este tipo de enfermedades prevenibles (o almenos sus complicaciones). Egoístas que no se cuidan ellos mismos pero demandan que tú hagas algo por ellos.
Arshhh!! Estoy molesta con los pacientes! Pero sobretodo estoy molesta con los malos médicos que me he topado ultimamente. Esos médicos que por pura weba no pasan a quirófano a un paciente que lleva mas de 20 horas esperando su turno! Esos médicos que hacen amputaciones que parece que en lugar de con bisturí nadamas les pasó un tren y les cortó la pierna! Esos pinches médicos que no se lavan para entrar a quirófano y que no respetan el área blanca! Esos PINCHES MEDICOS!! Arghhh!!
La verdad creo que para lo que me ha servido mi rotación de cirugía hasta ahora es para 3 cosas. La primera darme cuenta que NUNCA podría ser cirujano, la segunda que los cirujanos tienen un trabajo que implica muchas, pero MUCHAS cosas desagradables, y 3 Que lo que mas puedes aprender en los hospitales publicos es lo que NO debes hacer.
En fin, ya me desahogue. Respirare profundo, contare hasta 10 y me dire una vez mas: "sí se puede! Es solo un año".
I needed this. Back to reality, to my shitty shitty reality.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
still here
I'm here! I haven't given up or died or killed anyone. It is actually getting better, I think. I never really though it would be this much work. You have some pre-made conceptions of your rotations, and have heard of others who have gone through it. But still, you never really know until you're living it.
So here's my day:
5:45 - wake up, shower, get ready and try do grab something to eat on the car
6:40 - be at the classroom before the annoyingly punctual surgeon closes the door
7:50 - go to whichever hospital I'm doing my morning clinical activities (this transfer ranges from about 1hr to 5 minutes if its a the university hospital)
8:30sh to 6pm -arrive at the hospital and enter as many surgeries I can.
-somewhere here run to eat something at the cafeteria-
If I'm on call that day I have to go to the hospital and stay there till the next morning, otherwise I'm free to go and have a good 6 hours of free time, which I basically spend studying, running errands and sleeping.
Currently my clinical activity is very relaxed. I'm at a nice hospital, which is kind of private, and everyone has been very polite and helpful. They have free cookies and coffee, and some nice and comfy chairs at the doctors lounge. Life is good there. We enter all the surgeries just to see, and to some we participate -by participate I really mean retract and try not to get in the way of the real docs-. They are not very strict with the hours, and the don't really demand anything from us. It's more up to us to have the initiative to ask our doubts, to study, go check on the patient etc. Have I mentioned they have free cookies? heh
I like to enter the surgeries, I though I wouldn't. It's just such a weird feeling to be opening up a person, a living person. It's one thing to see a dead body, to cut it and see the internal structures all grey-ish and putrid; and a whole other to see it alive. It's like this person trusts us enough to let us do this to her and pay for it. Geez! It's a weird feeling, I'm telling ya!
Anyway, I've got a ton of dirty scrubs that need to be washed and several chapters to read. I'll see you.
xo
Lola
PS: Oh, by the way. Scrubs rock!! They are the best clothes ever! I'm going to miss wearing them all day. It's like being in your pajamas. Besides, I look so damn good on them! hah
So here's my day:
5:45 - wake up, shower, get ready and try do grab something to eat on the car
6:40 - be at the classroom before the annoyingly punctual surgeon closes the door
7:50 - go to whichever hospital I'm doing my morning clinical activities (this transfer ranges from about 1hr to 5 minutes if its a the university hospital)
8:30sh to 6pm -arrive at the hospital and enter as many surgeries I can.
-somewhere here run to eat something at the cafeteria-
If I'm on call that day I have to go to the hospital and stay there till the next morning, otherwise I'm free to go and have a good 6 hours of free time, which I basically spend studying, running errands and sleeping.
Currently my clinical activity is very relaxed. I'm at a nice hospital, which is kind of private, and everyone has been very polite and helpful. They have free cookies and coffee, and some nice and comfy chairs at the doctors lounge. Life is good there. We enter all the surgeries just to see, and to some we participate -by participate I really mean retract and try not to get in the way of the real docs-. They are not very strict with the hours, and the don't really demand anything from us. It's more up to us to have the initiative to ask our doubts, to study, go check on the patient etc. Have I mentioned they have free cookies? heh
I like to enter the surgeries, I though I wouldn't. It's just such a weird feeling to be opening up a person, a living person. It's one thing to see a dead body, to cut it and see the internal structures all grey-ish and putrid; and a whole other to see it alive. It's like this person trusts us enough to let us do this to her and pay for it. Geez! It's a weird feeling, I'm telling ya!
Anyway, I've got a ton of dirty scrubs that need to be washed and several chapters to read. I'll see you.
xo
Lola
PS: Oh, by the way. Scrubs rock!! They are the best clothes ever! I'm going to miss wearing them all day. It's like being in your pajamas. Besides, I look so damn good on them! hah
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sick of it
So this is it. I've been officially a 5th year for about 3 days and my life is already miserable.
Friday and Saturday morning we had our introduction to the clinical practice, the schedules were handed out and it turns out we'll be having what we here call guardias ABC. Which means that we're on call every 3rd night! Its just crazy, seriously. I mean, people in the US complain about their Q4 schedules (on call every 4th night) ... come on! This is just a living nightmare.
So this past Saturday I had my fist night on-call, meaning I was at the hospital from 6pm Saturday to 6am Sunday. I started on a public health hospital, with an excess in patients and a huge deficit in resources, both economic and human. As I said in older posts, I started with surgery. Yet, somehow in this overflowed hospital there were only like 2 surgeries that day, so we went down to the ER to help out there. We did like a gazillion EKGs (which reminded me that I've forgotten how to read them :S) learned how to place a Foley and a nasogastric tube, and tried to do both. The Foley was easy, but the naso was a complete fiasco.
It was a very slow nigh, but due to our naiveness, stupidity and first day excitement my partner and I didn't get any sleep. Around 11pm I started coughing and feeling a little bit off. As the time passed, the cough increased, and by 6am I felt I was going to cough my lung out. I went home in what felt like the loooooooooogest drive back ever, changed my vomit-splashed scrubs -only a little, but still gross- and collapsed in bed. I woke up around 12pm feeling like shit. I was feverish, coughing like a maniac and felt like I had been run over by a truck while asleep. I slept a few more hours, woke up and tried to eat something but really couldn't. I checked my temp and I was around 38oC (100.4 F). I called my mother and afterwards I cried a little. Seriously, I was feeling horrible. My mind was running the worst-case scenarios which implied me having to repeat my rotations because I missed a class or a clinical activity or dying, or something. I got so paranoid, I started tracking in my head the possible culprits, every sick person I saw while on call yesterday were cursed for making me go through this. I slept again, and I finally got to a limit around 7pm when I call a friend of mine who is a doctor and went to his house so he could prescribe me some drugs. When I got there I was 39.5oC (103.1F) and nearly collapsing. He gave a shot and some pills and I laid down for about 2hours until the fever came down. I've been on drugs since and feeling much better, but still knocked out.
Dammit! What a way to start this year, huh? I had a nervous breakdown/panic attack while I was lying on my friend's bed. I just wanted to go home and forget about this shit. Go home and get my life back. I mean, the universe was telling me very clearly that I shouldn't be there, that this was not for me. Then I talked to a friend and the drugs kicked in and I went back to being a crazy and masochistic medstudent. So, I guess I'll be here at least a little longer.
I'm on call tomorrow, and I'm already starting to freak out. I'll count to ten -or maybe 1000- and try to relax. I'm so not getting near anyone coughing or looking remotely contagious, and I don't care if he/she is dying. My body and my mind cannot go through this again, especially since I've haven't come out of it properly. I'm just literally sick of it.
Well see how it goes. I'll just go to bed right now and try not to die.
Friday and Saturday morning we had our introduction to the clinical practice, the schedules were handed out and it turns out we'll be having what we here call guardias ABC. Which means that we're on call every 3rd night! Its just crazy, seriously. I mean, people in the US complain about their Q4 schedules (on call every 4th night) ... come on! This is just a living nightmare.
So this past Saturday I had my fist night on-call, meaning I was at the hospital from 6pm Saturday to 6am Sunday. I started on a public health hospital, with an excess in patients and a huge deficit in resources, both economic and human. As I said in older posts, I started with surgery. Yet, somehow in this overflowed hospital there were only like 2 surgeries that day, so we went down to the ER to help out there. We did like a gazillion EKGs (which reminded me that I've forgotten how to read them :S) learned how to place a Foley and a nasogastric tube, and tried to do both. The Foley was easy, but the naso was a complete fiasco.
It was a very slow nigh, but due to our naiveness, stupidity and first day excitement my partner and I didn't get any sleep. Around 11pm I started coughing and feeling a little bit off. As the time passed, the cough increased, and by 6am I felt I was going to cough my lung out. I went home in what felt like the loooooooooogest drive back ever, changed my vomit-splashed scrubs -only a little, but still gross- and collapsed in bed. I woke up around 12pm feeling like shit. I was feverish, coughing like a maniac and felt like I had been run over by a truck while asleep. I slept a few more hours, woke up and tried to eat something but really couldn't. I checked my temp and I was around 38oC (100.4 F). I called my mother and afterwards I cried a little. Seriously, I was feeling horrible. My mind was running the worst-case scenarios which implied me having to repeat my rotations because I missed a class or a clinical activity or dying, or something. I got so paranoid, I started tracking in my head the possible culprits, every sick person I saw while on call yesterday were cursed for making me go through this. I slept again, and I finally got to a limit around 7pm when I call a friend of mine who is a doctor and went to his house so he could prescribe me some drugs. When I got there I was 39.5oC (103.1F) and nearly collapsing. He gave a shot and some pills and I laid down for about 2hours until the fever came down. I've been on drugs since and feeling much better, but still knocked out.
Dammit! What a way to start this year, huh? I had a nervous breakdown/panic attack while I was lying on my friend's bed. I just wanted to go home and forget about this shit. Go home and get my life back. I mean, the universe was telling me very clearly that I shouldn't be there, that this was not for me. Then I talked to a friend and the drugs kicked in and I went back to being a crazy and masochistic medstudent. So, I guess I'll be here at least a little longer.
I'm on call tomorrow, and I'm already starting to freak out. I'll count to ten -or maybe 1000- and try to relax. I'm so not getting near anyone coughing or looking remotely contagious, and I don't care if he/she is dying. My body and my mind cannot go through this again, especially since I've haven't come out of it properly. I'm just literally sick of it.
Well see how it goes. I'll just go to bed right now and try not to die.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
nervous breakdown
so, here I am, hiperventilating, bitting my nails, at the verge of crying and desperate for a cigarette despite being non-smoker ...
My clothes and my just-ironed coat are hanging from my door...
My scrubs are inside my backpack just in case I'm on call tonight...
SHIT! I'm freaking out!
I don't want it to be today! Please! It cannot be today!! :'(
My clothes and my just-ironed coat are hanging from my door...
My scrubs are inside my backpack just in case I'm on call tonight...
SHIT! I'm freaking out!
I don't want it to be today! Please! It cannot be today!! :'(
Killing me softly
So, tomorrow I start my year of slavery, a.k.a. my clinical practice year, with REAL 80hrs weeks!
I'm back to my apartment, it looks sad. I live about 2 blocks from campus, and right now all this area looks dead. The other so-called students don't start classes until the 14th. Those lazy chumps!
Gotta go, I've got a lot of things to do before my nervous breakdown.
I'm back to my apartment, it looks sad. I live about 2 blocks from campus, and right now all this area looks dead. The other so-called students don't start classes until the 14th. Those lazy chumps!
Gotta go, I've got a lot of things to do before my nervous breakdown.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Glückliches neues Jahr!
Happy New Year y'all!
So hey, I finally was able to change the background color, the margins etc of this blog.
Kudos for me and my fast-learning skills that allowed me to frikin' kickass at html! Woooo!
Mmm... yeahhhh right!! You almost fall for it didn't ya? The truth is, I asked my very geeky and Übercool brother to help out his non-techie sis. As I suspected, if you have any basic skills in programming it is a piece of cake. The thing is, I don't have any, not even remotely. Anyways ... Danke Verrückt! Ich liebe dich :D
So hey, I finally was able to change the background color, the margins etc of this blog.
Kudos for me and my fast-learning skills that allowed me to frikin' kickass at html! Woooo!
Mmm... yeahhhh right!! You almost fall for it didn't ya? The truth is, I asked my very geeky and Übercool brother to help out his non-techie sis. As I suspected, if you have any basic skills in programming it is a piece of cake. The thing is, I don't have any, not even remotely. Anyways ... Danke Verrückt! Ich liebe dich :D
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