This year has been quite full of life changing situations and decisions. Hasnt it?
First it was your sudden decision to move to the US. You have been threatening us for a while, but still it took us all by surprise when you were really moving over there. Never before had our family been so far away from each other. I was so happy you were finally where you wanted to be. I talked to you. But still something stired inside me. I hadn't said goodbye to you. I didn't take you to the airport and said my goodbyes and wished you good luck.The last time I saw you I never imagined it would be so important. I felt bad. That's why I wanted to go visit you in SF so much. I wanted to see you again. You where so decided of staying there that I was afraid of not seing you for so long unless I visited you that I had to go. Thanks to mom and dad I was able to go. I saw how you lived, I experienced your happyness of being there, right where you where ment to me. I was able to see you surounded by people like you. You finally fitted somewhere, and you were more happy there than I have seen you in such a long while. Of course, sometimes I could also see you where lonely. Away from your family, your friends and everything that had once been your life. It's sad to be away from home, I know.
When you left me on the airport that last day I cried so much during the flight. I felt that you where not coming back. I was happy for you, but still I cried.
On august we were all together again. It felt so good. Not just our family, but so many people from our past were there, I couldnt help it but year those days when everything was so much simpler.
And then, your big news. I have to admit that I cried a little when mom told me. She was so sad, so worried for her little boy. Still, she didn't knew what I what I knew. She didnt saw your there, she didnt live your happiness, your fitting in. I dont think she really understand what it really means. It was like freeing a fish from its bowl into the ocean just to take it back in. It was cruel, and it hurt me. But I was sure you would get over it and stand up again.
Now, another great adventure is awaiting. One that will take you even farther than you've ever been.It is one journey that you have chosen to travel alone. More that really finding a place, I believe its a journey to finding yourself, what you really want, and who you really are and what you want to become.
I wish you nothing but the best, for you deserve nothing less than that.
Please be carefull, you'll be so far away from your loved ones.
Keep in touch.
Remember that no matter how far away you are, how lonely you feel or how badly things are going, your family will always be here for you. You will always have a home to come back to, filled with opened arms to embrace you, whether its for visiting of to stay.
May all your expectations be satisfied.
I love you,
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
16 weeks of gestation
So, this week is also over, which means . . . I've been procrastinating the top item of my to do list for 16 weeks! Sixteen weeks, people! If this were a human fetus it would be around 14cms long and weight 200-300gms, have a humanoid appearance and we could totally now if it's a boy or a girl. Can you believe how fast time goes by?
But be disappointed no more, for I have already made some advances in this matter. Today I finally called a computershop and asked about the prices and all, Unfortunately, well, it's Saturday, and of the three ones I called none answered. I sent an email to two of them, with Chloe's specifications and a brief explanation of the situation. Hopefuly I'll hear of them by Monday. However, if I don't there's not much I can do since I'm on call that day. It will have to wait until Tuesday, when, no matter how tired I am or how shitty I look I shall have a definite answer about my options with Chloe.
And so it goes.
I can't keep this up. I have to tatto my self carpe diem on my forehead. Or even better, I should hire an assistant to remind me of doing all this crap. Or even better, I could hire this assistand and she would totally do all this boring but necesary crap for me. I wonder if my assistant could also take my clothes for dry cleanning. I've been driving around for about 3-4 weeks with a pair of blouses, a trouser and a conforter that need to be dry cleaned. I also owe about 20dlls in late return fines at my school's library, 'cause I'm just incaplable of remembering when it's time to renew the books online. Oh, and before my mama came visiting (oh right, I didn't say, my mama came visit. There, now you know) I had been sleeping on barely half my bed since the rest was occupied with a pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded (God, I hate folding) and placed in my closet. I'm such a mess, I could go on and on with this things.
Argh, I need to find a way to be more organized. I can't go like these any longer.
But be disappointed no more, for I have already made some advances in this matter. Today I finally called a computershop and asked about the prices and all, Unfortunately, well, it's Saturday, and of the three ones I called none answered. I sent an email to two of them, with Chloe's specifications and a brief explanation of the situation. Hopefuly I'll hear of them by Monday. However, if I don't there's not much I can do since I'm on call that day. It will have to wait until Tuesday, when, no matter how tired I am or how shitty I look I shall have a definite answer about my options with Chloe.
And so it goes.
I can't keep this up. I have to tatto my self carpe diem on my forehead. Or even better, I should hire an assistant to remind me of doing all this crap. Or even better, I could hire this assistand and she would totally do all this boring but necesary crap for me. I wonder if my assistant could also take my clothes for dry cleanning. I've been driving around for about 3-4 weeks with a pair of blouses, a trouser and a conforter that need to be dry cleaned. I also owe about 20dlls in late return fines at my school's library, 'cause I'm just incaplable of remembering when it's time to renew the books online. Oh, and before my mama came visiting (oh right, I didn't say, my mama came visit. There, now you know) I had been sleeping on barely half my bed since the rest was occupied with a pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded (God, I hate folding) and placed in my closet. I'm such a mess, I could go on and on with this things.
Argh, I need to find a way to be more organized. I can't go like these any longer.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Is this thing still on?
When did September happen? Did you notice? I didn't.
I have been wanting to post for such a long time. My excuse this time is my lack of computer. You see, I don't have a laptop because Chloe's motherboard (yes, my laptop has a name. Deal with it. In my defense I have to say that Windows asks you to name your computer sometime at the begining) got messed up and I had to send it to HP to get it fixed. Damn you tiny-fancy-and-incredibly-delicate computers! Well, that was 3 months ago. THREE FUCKING MONTHS!!! So right now I don't have a computer because I have been procrastinating sending her for 3 FUCKING MONTHS!!! My computer! For 3 months! My God! I don't even know who I am anymore! I feel so 90's! I just thank God for Rhonda, what would I do without her? (Rhonda, my Blackberry)
Did I mention I still haven't send it? FUCK.
Anyways, having explained my probably unnoticed absence, I'll procede to explain my whereabouts of the last several weeks.
As you know I was in my peds rotation from July to October. After all the complaining, whinning, strep throat, conjunctivitis, etc it was't all that bad. I would actually consider going into peds, if only there weren't so many kids involved :P
The last month or so I rotated in my fancy, private University Hospital. The work was pretty slow, but somehow my stress levels got up, as usual. I had to study what I haven't during the first half of the rotation, hand in a gazzillion notes and clinical histories and finish my portfolio. Excuse me, let me correct myself, my HANDWRITTEN portfolio. This damn portfolio is an endless compilation of my clinical experience during my rotation, or at least that's what I'm told it is. To me, it is a flashback to the 90's where people actually wrote their school papers by hand. Geez, its like elementary school all over again. My hand cramped from all the writing, I had to literaly stop writing because of numbness of my upper limb. Maybe it was due to the fact that I did most of it during the very last week, but still, handwriting is so last decade.
Portfolios and exams aside, the rotation I liked the most was the last one. I was at the regional public maternity hospital. It's a big building that started functioning just last year. It get's an obscene ammount of parturient women from all over the state and even the neighboring states. Since we were rotating in Peds, our job there was to care for the newborn. So, forget about the lady and the obscure and horrid substances involved in giving birth, I was incharge of the baby. Newborns are fun. I mean obviously after they are cleaned out of all the gooey stuff they are born with. I really enjoyed rotating there. We had a lot work, specially at night. I don't know what's with pregnant women and their tendency to give birth in the middle of the night. There where times when I was barely finishing cleaning up one of the babies when I heard someone scream: "Pediatra sala 1!!". I would run to the place, almost putting my gloves on as I ran because by the time I was there, the baby was already comming out. I loved the rush of adrenaline I felt whenever an unexpected birth happend, and let me tell you, it was quite often.
But now, I'm on the other side. Yes, the one involving all the obscure and horrid substances.
ObGyn
God, I hate it! If only the stork would really bring the babies from Paris.
Since I started my 3 months of ginecologic hell in the lesser of 3 evils, that is, my University Hospital, I will spare you from the disgusting details. For now. Give me 2 more weeks, when I go back to that maternity hospital, and prepare to supress your gag reflex, cause things around here are going to get yucky.
I have been wanting to post for such a long time. My excuse this time is my lack of computer. You see, I don't have a laptop because Chloe's motherboard (yes, my laptop has a name. Deal with it. In my defense I have to say that Windows asks you to name your computer sometime at the begining) got messed up and I had to send it to HP to get it fixed. Damn you tiny-fancy-and-incredibly-delicate computers! Well, that was 3 months ago. THREE FUCKING MONTHS!!! So right now I don't have a computer because I have been procrastinating sending her for 3 FUCKING MONTHS!!! My computer! For 3 months! My God! I don't even know who I am anymore! I feel so 90's! I just thank God for Rhonda, what would I do without her? (Rhonda, my Blackberry)
Did I mention I still haven't send it? FUCK.
Anyways, having explained my probably unnoticed absence, I'll procede to explain my whereabouts of the last several weeks.
As you know I was in my peds rotation from July to October. After all the complaining, whinning, strep throat, conjunctivitis, etc it was't all that bad. I would actually consider going into peds, if only there weren't so many kids involved :P
The last month or so I rotated in my fancy, private University Hospital. The work was pretty slow, but somehow my stress levels got up, as usual. I had to study what I haven't during the first half of the rotation, hand in a gazzillion notes and clinical histories and finish my portfolio. Excuse me, let me correct myself, my HANDWRITTEN portfolio. This damn portfolio is an endless compilation of my clinical experience during my rotation, or at least that's what I'm told it is. To me, it is a flashback to the 90's where people actually wrote their school papers by hand. Geez, its like elementary school all over again. My hand cramped from all the writing, I had to literaly stop writing because of numbness of my upper limb. Maybe it was due to the fact that I did most of it during the very last week, but still, handwriting is so last decade.
Portfolios and exams aside, the rotation I liked the most was the last one. I was at the regional public maternity hospital. It's a big building that started functioning just last year. It get's an obscene ammount of parturient women from all over the state and even the neighboring states. Since we were rotating in Peds, our job there was to care for the newborn. So, forget about the lady and the obscure and horrid substances involved in giving birth, I was incharge of the baby. Newborns are fun. I mean obviously after they are cleaned out of all the gooey stuff they are born with. I really enjoyed rotating there. We had a lot work, specially at night. I don't know what's with pregnant women and their tendency to give birth in the middle of the night. There where times when I was barely finishing cleaning up one of the babies when I heard someone scream: "Pediatra sala 1!!". I would run to the place, almost putting my gloves on as I ran because by the time I was there, the baby was already comming out. I loved the rush of adrenaline I felt whenever an unexpected birth happend, and let me tell you, it was quite often.
But now, I'm on the other side. Yes, the one involving all the obscure and horrid substances.
ObGyn
God, I hate it! If only the stork would really bring the babies from Paris.
Since I started my 3 months of ginecologic hell in the lesser of 3 evils, that is, my University Hospital, I will spare you from the disgusting details. For now. Give me 2 more weeks, when I go back to that maternity hospital, and prepare to supress your gag reflex, cause things around here are going to get yucky.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)