For the last 8 weeks I've been in my pediatrics rotation in several different clinical settings. My experiences have been varied. In general, the kids have totally exceeded my expectations, whether it was because they where extremelly low, I don't know. I'm not a big fan of kids, mainly because I lack tolerance, but also because I believe in the power of reasoning, something out of grasp to most children. Let me explain.
It is very much frustrating for me (as I expect to everyone in their sane head) to listen to an infant cry. It gets to my nerves very easily, so instead of rocking the child and put a pacifier in his or her mouth, I try to rationalize with him how senseless all his crying is. Zum beispiel:
KID
(some 8-10 month old, who had just started crying with no apparent reason)
waaaaaaaaaa! waaaaaaaaaa!
ME
what is wrong with you kid? are you hungry?
(looking intently, asi if expecting some sort of signaling as a response)
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaa!
ME
ok, I'll take that as a no.
(pauses to see whether the kid reacts and contradicts me, as if saying "oh no! I AM hungry, please feed me")
So what's with all the crying then? Its very unpolite of you to cry like this for no reason. You know, other kids are sleeping or are really sick and trying to rest. How would you feel if it were you the one trying to sleep through all this nonesense yelling?
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
Mmm...
(considering to put a hand on the kid's mouth, but discarding the idea after realizing that it would imply getting myself this kids unclean and possibly contagious saliva all over my just washed hand)
KID
WAAAAAAA!
(extending arms to the ceiling, asi if demanding to be held)
ME
Mmm...
Fine kid! I'll hold you. But if I do I'm expecting you to shussh it. Ok? Are we clear?
(gets hold of the kid in an awkard unnatural embrace)
KID
waaa.... aaa.... aaa a a
(silence, looks at me in the eye)
ME
(gleaming with satisfaction at the suddenly calm and silent emergency room)
See? Was't that eas....
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
arrrghhh!!!!
This is not working for any of us. I told you I'll hold you with the understanding that if Idid you would stop crying. This is not a fair trade now. You're not crying AND making me hold you.
No, no, no mister.
(putting the kid carefully back to the crib)
I shall not yield to your crying extortion.
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
(thinking how to proceed)
oh! I know, let's try something
(starts massaging his forehead, right in the middle of his eyebrows)
KID
(Suddendly calms down and stops crying)
CLASSMATE
wow! how did you know that!
ME
(frankly)
My cats used to love it.
(some 8-10 month old, who had just started crying with no apparent reason)
waaaaaaaaaa! waaaaaaaaaa!
ME
what is wrong with you kid? are you hungry?
(looking intently, asi if expecting some sort of signaling as a response)
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaa!
ME
ok, I'll take that as a no.
(pauses to see whether the kid reacts and contradicts me, as if saying "oh no! I AM hungry, please feed me")
So what's with all the crying then? Its very unpolite of you to cry like this for no reason. You know, other kids are sleeping or are really sick and trying to rest. How would you feel if it were you the one trying to sleep through all this nonesense yelling?
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
Mmm...
(considering to put a hand on the kid's mouth, but discarding the idea after realizing that it would imply getting myself this kids unclean and possibly contagious saliva all over my just washed hand)
KID
WAAAAAAA!
(extending arms to the ceiling, asi if demanding to be held)
ME
Mmm...
Fine kid! I'll hold you. But if I do I'm expecting you to shussh it. Ok? Are we clear?
(gets hold of the kid in an awkard unnatural embrace)
KID
waaa.... aaa.... aaa a a
(silence, looks at me in the eye)
ME
(gleaming with satisfaction at the suddenly calm and silent emergency room)
See? Was't that eas....
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
arrrghhh!!!!
This is not working for any of us. I told you I'll hold you with the understanding that if Idid you would stop crying. This is not a fair trade now. You're not crying AND making me hold you.
No, no, no mister.
(putting the kid carefully back to the crib)
I shall not yield to your crying extortion.
KID
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
ME
(thinking how to proceed)
oh! I know, let's try something
(starts massaging his forehead, right in the middle of his eyebrows)
KID
(Suddendly calms down and stops crying)
CLASSMATE
wow! how did you know that!
ME
(frankly)
My cats used to love it.
1 comment:
jaja no manches q locoo!!!
saluditooos
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